<1104>

I still haven't totally decided about Boston. I keep going back and forth on what will be the most fun with the least hassle. Clearly going to Boston has it share of hassle, but it might not be so bad if I leave fairly early tomorrow and at a decent hour Tuesday. Or it could be a longass drive no matter what. I could also just fly up another weekend.

<1256>

Okay, so I'm definitely just going to fly up some other time this month, because AirTran is having a ridiculous sale. So this weekend I can chill and go to Annapolis and DC and wherever.

<1527>

Sooo, I went to look at my bank account today to see if I got paid for last week's work (out of curiosity, I actually had no idea what their payment schedule at work is). And there is a deposit... for a lot more than I make even on my stipend! So, uh, yeah. I hope it isn't a soon-to-be-reversed mistake!

<1118>

Last night I went to a restaurant/jazz jam with this guy I ran into post-quals at the Wharf Rat. It was a good time, and the jazz part was chill except the room was a bit too small for a loud drum kit. City Cafe was closed by the time we ventured that way, so we went to Paper Moon, which is, as Steve noted, a bit too self-consciously eclectic. But dessert was pretty good. I got home too late, though, and I am so tired today.

Also hungry really early again, which seems to happen every time I come here to work.

Oh man, so last night before going out, I thought the world was ending... there was lightning all around my house, and I'm generally used to loud lightning from home, but this crap was like right there. And with Pro's dad getting zapped, I was a little extra paranoid. Scary weather!

I still dunno whether I'm going to Boston this weekend. Steve hasn't gotten back to me yet. Part of me feels lazy and like I should come into work Tuesday afternoon for the new employee orientation (since no one told me to come do it Monday), but part of me really wants to go. So, I dunno. I guess I can decide whenever.

<1535>

Okay, so it looks like Beantown is gonna happen. I just hope traffic isn't horrific Friday night.

<1836>

So, I might have lied about Boston. We'll see.

In really cool news, that guy I was hanging out with last night had been bummed because his viola got stolen from his office while they were in a meeting. But today they caught the guy trying to pawn it!

It sounds like the apocalypse is coming back again tonight... I hate lightning! In a sort of excited way.

<2119>

So, it looks like I'm 90% likely to stay in the Chesapeake region for the weekend. I lost my car companion to the contraints of the calendar and lack of wormhole for my car.

More on the viola: so this is an instrument that was the only one made by the guy who made it. It was his first, and then he died. So, my friend called around to every conceivable shop yesterday to put the word out about his stolen instrument, including a shop in Mt. Vernon where he'd had the thing already worked on. It was this very shop that the stealer phoned asking for a quote... and when the owner asked who the producer of the instrument was, it was quickly obvious that he'd found the stolen viola. He told the guy to bring the viola in for a real good look, and then promptly called the police so they would be there when he arrived with it. The owner was apparently quite excited by his role in the retrieval. So, my friend got lucky that the stealer was sort of a dummy, because really, if famous paintings from museums have a market, even the most well-marked and unique viola has a market if the stealer is smart.

Also, my phone has been ringing off the hook today. My grandmother even called me out of the blue!

<1724>

Friday I went to physics happy hour, and then with the kids to dinner. That was fun, and I got home earliy enough for some chill time. Saturday I had brunch with T, and then we went to the SPCA. They still have a thousand kittens there. Yesterday Steve and I went to the farmer's market under the freeway, and it was pretty good... some same stuff from the Waverly market, some new stuff, like the omelette stand! After that we went to Trader Joe's so Steve could stock up while he had a ride.

I wanted to go to Annapolis today, just to do something interesting, but it was rainy. So I went grocery shopping, which was not as exciting.

<2201>

So, I spent a lot of time getting all my paper/cardboard recycling together after months of neglect and clutter. I put it all outside first thing this morning. But they picked up yesterday!

I can't read a calendar.

Also, I was watching the NBA Finals, and they said Larry Brown was going to check into the Mayo Clinic after, which I heard but my brain said, does he have a drinking problem? Because I thought Betty Ford. Who has the drinking problem?

<1938>

So, work topday was pretty good, and I think it will be chill and maybe even kinda fun. I'm going to work about 20 hours a week, or 2.5 days. And it looks like I'll mostly be cataloguing gender-based violence materials, which even the little bit I did today was really interesting, even as it was saddening. I actually watched a great video of interviews with survivors in Latin America, and it was amazing how powerful getting out had made these women. They were incredible.

So I think that means the dumpy lame part of summer is still my lack of dissertation progress.

<2354>

I wish I was more inspired to start work tomorrow. I dunno, it'll probably be okay, and I don't need to work all that much to make satisfactory money for the summer... I just wish everything had come together so that I was being paid to do research that would also lead me to my dissertation. Instead I have all this piecemeal stuff going on, none of which really satisfies me. I came to Hopkins because I thought I could get involved in interesting research that matched what I like, and people made it sound like getting involved was so easy. Instead my first advisor doesn't get tenure and my new advisor is traveling most of the summer, I'm generally left out of the loop, and I'm wondering how Harvard would have been all that different (well, except for the money, masters instead of doctoral program, and expensive living thing). I really need to buckle down and figure out what I want to do, but I just feel unsupported and unmotivated.

Even though I hated moving, I was so excited to start school and stop working a year ago. I learned a lot in this year of classes, and I think I am still excited about public health, but I also just feel really disenchanted with everything. I wish I could take a year away and just not look at any of it, putter around or something. I have friends here, but two weeks in Boston proved that I still consider that home far more, that when I'm away from here there still isn't a ton that I miss. Even as much as I do like my friends and my apartment and car and such. I just still feel like, when do I get to move back to Boston and get on with my actual life?

<0100>

Today I mostly watched the first season of Arrested Development. And now I want the second one to be out on DVD! Furthermore, Jason Bateman = DELICIOUS.

<0334>

DONE, BITCHES.

I definitely went over the Wechsler-defined binge drinking limit for women tonight. IT WAS GREAT.

I also ended up hanging out with this random dorky boy.

<1025>

Weds was pretty lame on the writing front, but the yesterday was mad productive. I basically wrote the whole damn thing. All I have to do today is fill in a few paragraphs here and there, and then insert citations here and there.

<1712>

Ugh. I feel really behind. I still haven't finished even one little question, and I want to have two done by the end of the day. I got off to such a slow start today, and I can't just seems to *write*. I'm such a slow paper writer. I can fire off emails and shit here like no problem, but papers are like grarghghgh. This section doesn't even have like a lot of references. It's really not that hard. Maybe the last section will be easy and I can fire that off tonight and go to bed with just the first three sections to write over the next two days. Then revise on Friday.

Oh, I know I'm going to still be doing actual writing on Friday. Or so late Thursday night that I'll only have a few hours Friday before it's due anyway.

<1055>

So I got the exam, and I was sad to see that CVD wasn't on there, since I have a lot of stuff for that one. But I was glad to see that alcohol abuse was one of the topics because that means college drinking! I kinda wish I had gathered together some articles on the topic ahead of time, because I figured it would be usable in some form, but that's okay, a lot of stuff is online. And there's tons of it, but that's okay too. I can see where I'm going with each exam part, and I know there are plenty of articles for each.

<1743>

I'm feeling less enchanted with the topic after an afternoon wading through snarky authors and intervention developers that can't be bothered to, like, publish in peer reviewed journals. Also I hope that my broad construal of "alcohol abuse" as any old harmful drinking is okay. I called the office to make sure, but there wasn't an actual reader around to give me the okay, so I'll have to just hope the administrator's thoughts that I was on the right track are sufficient. Grah.

So yeah, on snarky researchers, I noted in reading Wechsler's eval of social norms marketing that he made this comment about how most of the literature cited as backup for these campaigns is unpublished or not in peer-reviewed pubs. Which is totally true. But then I read this article where it noted that some of his critics say he just mines his data to churn out a jillion articles a year... which is maybe a little true. I swear every search I do has a glut of his articles all over the place. But, then again, these critics can't be bothered to, like, respond to his evaluation in the damn peer-reviewed literature, so I can't be bothered to care that much about them. These people need to reach a happy medium!

<2344>

End of Day 1. I talked to T on IM briefly only to discover she had finished Q1 and was working on Q2. I have a whole lot of no questions written. However, I do have everything pretty well outlined and mapped out, and it's all still going to suck, but at the end of the day I feel pretty good about it. I think I may actually start real writing from the back, actually, with Q4 and Q5 tomorrow. At least pretty solid drafts for later big revision once I've gone through the rest. Q1 is just a pain because of all the referencing required... I have an idea of it in my head just fine, which is all I need to do the rest, but it's a B to actually write. But maybe I'll be inspired by the rest of my lit retrieval tomorrow.

I love how my well-planned schedule has been tossed in favor of a lot of jumping around, but I think the jumping is all in a productive direction, not just fluttering around reading things I shouldn't be spending time on.

Now for an episode of AD, then to bed.

<1433>

Commencement was pretty great. Those '05 bastards got a beautiful sunny day. It never even got too hot either, since it got a little overcast for the afternoon, so that was very nice. The morning was great as always, with songs and entrance into the fellowship of educated women and men and all that. For lunch, us old people bailed on the lunch gigs and drank free beer in the yard instead. It ruled. Then the afternoon there was boring Larry, but then John Lithgow was fab, though he nearly made everyone cry by saying he was telling us the last story of our childhood. By we I mean class of '05; I'm technically already old and decrepit.

I am getting so old, though, as my feet and hands both hurt like a mof by the end of the day.

Upon return, there was napping and General Gao, and then party! The party would have been a ton better if it hadn't been so sweltering. Damn broken AC. There are more people leaving this year for other places, so there was a lot more sadness this year, I think.

Then weirdness, but I'm used to it, and I was at least glad to hear bafflement was not mine alone. Just because you graduate from Harvard doesn't make you ept at people things.

Friday I did very little, moving my crap to Lee's swank summer home... it's the same as his school-year home, but set up differently, and soon he will have AC installed, which is awesome. It was truly nasty Friday, and I'm glad it saved the real hotness for then instead of the day before. I had dinner with Danny, Court and Jack at this new place in the square, and it was delish and way too filling. :-) It was an early night. I chatted with Lee a bit, then slept, then got up and came home!

Back at home, it wasn't too hot in the house, which made me happy. I had surprisingly little real mail and a huge pile of junk mail, which is common but less obvious day to day than when there is a 2-week pile. I stayed up way too late last night watching Hotel Rwanda and Chappelle, meaning I did not succeed in moving my schedule to the desired quals week hours of 7 am to 10 pm. Not even close! I know I'll have a hell of a time sleeping tonight.

It's not even that I'm at all worried... I probably should be more concerned about them. But it's just not worth it. There's just no way I'm not passing, and I might not write an amazing paper, but that's not necessary. So, today I have to go grocery shopping, unpack, update my quicken records, but then I'll do a little studying just to get my brain in gear. But after that, a 25-30 page paper in a week just requires concerted effort, which is do-able.

<0014>

Ooh, so hot today. Lunch gigs were short, but sweaty, so we sat in the Science Center after for air conditioned lunch. I got a beer from the beer truck before they ran out. Then Class Day was actually much shadier than I remembered, so either I remembered wrong or the sun has moved. Tim Russert actually did not suck as I expected him too, but the student speeches were sub-par. Really, is the major criterion for the Harvard Oration the amount of trite that can be shoved into one speech. I missed most of the first one due to a need for ice coffee, but the point of the second one, well, among many poorly connected ones, was that you should do what you love. Besides being such an elitist Harvard thing to say (tough to do what you love when your life is constrained in a variety of ways, and also, geez, how bout you do something useful?), it's also just stupid. I love drinking, and I do that, but that doesn't make me some kind of success. Idiot. The Ivy Orations were okay, but not as funny as past years.

Changed into shorts for the 1.5 hours between gigs, more Greenhouse for dinner, then off to more sweltering gigs. At least I got to lay on some awesome grass for a while before the 35th. I also scared some big doggies with my cymbals, which was kind of funny. The Yard concert was pretty standard: after five minutes, I was so bored with the singing people that I wandered off for the SC for bathroom and email to kill time. It started raining during our set, but it was still fun. M was really good on the solo, and clearly sort of adorably happy with himself after he had finished. The rest of the tunes were fun... I feel like it always turns into a big celebration by the end, no matter how boring the rest is, or how crappy the weather gets.

I battled the rain with Jack and Court so we could go to Uno's while Jack waited to get Clark's computer. We have now compared the Friday's and Uno's sampler platters and deemed Uno's to lead if you make them give you marinara sauce for the cheese sticks. I also love onions. Though the Friday's one comes with celery, which makes me feel like I'm not eating crap, even though I just use them to eat more blue cheese dressing. Anyhoo, that was cool, and Doug decided to stay in Porter, so I didn't have to move my crap to Kirkland in the rain. I can do it Friday when I have nothing better to do except nurse a hangover.

Tomorrow (not long from now): Commencement! It should be nice, I hope not too hot! Then party!

<0145>

I've been up to a lot. Last Thursday night was the Clue party, which was pretty chill. Friday I did very little and then I met up with Court and Jack for dinner, which was fun. Saturday was the HBS gig, then I had lunch with Court at Shay's, where we sweltered in the sun while having wine. The foosball tourney was going on, there was dinner at JH's, and then later on I went to Courtside with Danny, Sam, Mike and Loren, where I sang thrice. D and I sang Crazy in Love, which was okay except the words were screwy. And then I sang both Heartbreaker (Benatar) and Immigrant Song. Both of which were so fun. Then some kids were drinking to Back to the Future in the BR, so I joined them, ate a bunch of rummy pineapple, and generally went to bed too late.

Sunday I got up in the afternoon to help Clark with his scrapbook, but nothing ended up going on because he had to print photos. Eventually there was rehearsal, and then Lauren had an early birthday dance party, which I referred to as the Sober Party. Matthew and I went for a walk, ran into Drunkie, I mean, M, and we wandered some more. Monday I had to fill M in on our travels and talks, as he didn't so much remember. He was stumbly and slurry from the Last Chance Dance, and no end of amusement.

Monday was 50th lunch, and then I headed to work for a meeting, DQ with Court (ice cream jealousy), and I blew off rehearsal, since I had missed so much already. We went to the square and met up with kids for dinner at Blue Ribbon, fulfilling my barbecue jones. I hadn't been there. Sam was breaking a year of vegetarianism, and had no ill effects. Then there was Drink Chappelle in Eliot, and I unwisely opted to watch the entire season, and before I knew it, it was daylight.

Today was rough; I got up around 2, felt like ass, managed to get to the BR by 4 to eat my leftovers from Blue Ribbon. Snacked more at the Greenhouse and felt okay for the gig, even though it was fairly warm and I was quickly dehydrated. I chilled in the BR watching the Mork and Mindy movie on TV until karaoke. It was a smaller group tonight, but fun. jack drew pictures of other people. I sang Carol King's "It's Too Late." Good times, minimal beer as I still felt enh. Now I'm back, packed a bit for my last move of the trip. Gigs all day tomorrow and Thursday. Woo fun!

Yesterday I had a mild panic when my power adapter finally died... it had been threatening death, snapping off whenever I moved the computer. Turns out there was a short right behind the plug to the computer, which finally fried through, revealing the issue all too plainly. Turns out they have universal adapters now, and I was able to procure one from Radio Shack for cheaper than a new "real" adapter from Dell. Screw you, Dell!

Also, I looked at my 4th q grades today, and I ended up getting straight As on the year! That hasn't happened since high school!

<0214>

Inevitable frustration.

<1741>

They changed the cutoff for Biostats, so I got an A! I guess I'm not the only one who was somewhat disappointed with their grade.

Beach day was friggin fabulous... once we got there at least. We got a tad turned around a few times. But the weather was perfect, not so hot that it was draining, but warm enough to be very beachy. It was a nice chill day.

And party tonight!

Things overall are going very well.

<1712>

Yesterday I had a picnic with Lauren, and she showed me lots of photos. Then I went to karaoke, where I sang White Rabbit, which was awesome. I had always wanted to sing it but never quite had the guts, but it ruled. Karaoke was awesome all around, people were funny and great.

Then there was Kong and walking by the river and so on. Overall it was a good evening.

I surprise even myself, with how far I've come. I would have expected myself to be sort of a freak today, but I've been utterly calm, amazingly contently calm about everything. Vacation is good.

<1914>

I crashed the luau with a bunch of people, which was good, and better than Greenhouse food. They had some truly terrible karaoke going down.

Things bode well, however, though I'm patient with my assessment.

<2045>

Man, fuck biostats, I totally got a B. The project basically determined the grade, as I did really well on everything else. :p