<0130>

I ended up going over to the MAC Quad for a while to play dodgeball, and then I went with Court and Jack to the BBQ, which was pretty chill and fun, and we only got rained on a little. Star Wars was good, even though I was irked by something that was an unexplained inconsistency with Ep 6 and Leia's recollections. I watched some Leno and then headed back here to bum around and finish my outline.

I think I may ditch out beach day tomorrow... it's not supposed to be all that warm, which doesn't inspire me, and even the late time seems early, and I am tired. All this partying makes me tired, as I am old.

<1049>

Beach day ditched out on me! The weather looks enh, so it was postponed. Hurrah! I can be a bum and nap all day.

<1310>

Life is so complicated. The tangle of emotions, the need to predict in a split second which decision is more likely to lead to better long-term outcomes. I don't know, perhaps I erred, but I err on the side of leaving opportunities open. Maybe that's just avoidant. It does seem wiser to stay on the safe side under the influence.

Yesterday I met up with the crew at Shay's, where we did manage to sit outside and only get sprinkled on for about 5 minutes at one point. But otherwise it was lovely, and then I headed to the party, which wasn't bad. Not totally hopping, but the people who were there were mostly energetic. I stayed really late, as I always do, and then M walked me home, and then I had to call him to see if he noticed if I had my umbrella... though it's totally sitting by the front door. But phone calls are good even if their initial purpose is silly.

Today I'm feeling enh, and not particularly inspired to go to Watertown for bbq, but I will probably go for a while anyway, and then I'll come back for Star Wars. Tomorrow is the beach. I need to get this thing done for the doctoral students, and I'm tempted just to send off what I already did and say fuck it.

<1901>

Hello from Cambridge! Life here has been crazy mad hedonistic fun. The flight in was good, and I T'd it successfully into the square. Tom was the only one around, so I dumped my bags and went to the hotel to check in. I got a room with two double beds, which they probably have more of than rooms with big single beds, but I did feel like I should have had a big slumber party there. As it was, I had lunch and watched TV, and then sauntered back. I mostly bummed around all evening, then there was drinking and Star Wars, which mostly devolved into drunk people talking and totally devolved into that by the second movie, but it was a blast. I cabbed back to the hotel, and slept not nearly enough hours.

I had to check out at noon, which seems quite reasonable, unless you go to bed at 4. I walked back to the square in the beautiful sunshine, coffee in a grip as I crawled along. There was no mailing party, so I went to get food and then went shopping all over the place. Then that night I hung out with Danny, Loren and Lane and some other folks at this terrible karaoke place up Cambridge St... it has a terrible atmosphere, and the DJ is a lout, but the song book is enormous, so we'll probably go next weekend also. Then D and I headed to the Kong for Josh's birthday fun, and then all us old drunks wandered around like crazy people to the river, where we did not actually throw Josh in, then to the BR, then I went home with Court and Jack.

This morning, well, not morning, afternoon, we got up and went to this place in Inman for brunch, and it was delicious. Then I went to the square to see where the heck I might be able to stay, and by the time I got a key (thanks Mindy!), it was pouring, so I had to wait, and then when it stopped I dragged my shit over, and now I'm all settled in. I need to get ready to go out to Shay's, which won't be totally ideal given the wetness... I hope there will be room inside. Then there's a party, which should be pretty chill since people have been moving today, but maybe I can stir up madness, bwahahaha. Tomorrow there are hopes for grilling, if the weather holds, and if that's early enough, then some Star Wars new movie if I manage to make my way back to the square. The rest of the week promises crazy fun.

I've been in a really great state of mind since being here... things have just been really fun for me, and I've been geniunely focused on the moment, who I'm talking to, what's going on. In moments I notice that some thing have seemed to change very little, but I've changed my perspective, and that's all I can control.

<0246>

Dang it, I totally should not have taken a nap tonight. I felt like el crappo, though. And it also caused me to miss all but the reveal on Idol... no compulsion to watch 2 hours of crap!

I managed to get most all of my stuff together packing wise... what I absolutely need to bring, with the stipulation that I must do laundry halfway through, will fit in the backpack and rolly bag I have, and then I would have to put the shoes in a little bag and my laptop in the one-strap bag. But, my back hurts thinking about that. The huge rolly duffel I have would totally fit everything, including a second week of clothes. But that is a really evil bag. So I think I'm going to hit Hecht's tomorrow to see if I can't get one of those big upright rolly luggages, which I will be able to drag around on the T if I want, but also fit all my shit. And then I can use the backpack laptop case.

These logistics I'm sure were very exciting for all of you.

I went in to school today to turn in my last paper and to read through last year's honors quals (and pick up my one question I did for capstone). Nothing really surprising was in any of them, and I think I have a good handle on how I expect the questions to go. I'm going to try to look through some class note stuff tomorrow, but I'm not really going to stress it.

<2022>

I went to Hecht's to get a big suitcase, found one, and then left it where it was so I could find black pants downstairs. Having done that, I returned upstairs, but this time there was a salesman in the area who asserted that he would not recommend the suitcase I had chosen for air travel, because it would not survive. I suppose he was trying to be helpful, but he just came off as sort of a jerk to me. I asked him what he would recommend after noting that I just wanted something large but cheap, since it's not like I travel that often, and he said the next cheapest thing was $100, and I was like, great, thanks, and walked away. I think what was so irksome about the whole interaction was that it had this feeling like he wasn't just giving advice and letting me do what I wanted with it, he was closing the door entirely to the bag I had wanted, like, no, you really can't buy that, it won't survive. Well, f u, I'm not buying a bag that's over twice as much.

So I went to the haven of hassle-free buying, Target. I got a wheelie duffel, but this one actually has a frame bottom and a handle, unlike the dumb one I have currently. Everything fits! Except shoes, but those never fit, so I dumped them all in a backpacky bag.

I'm hoping T can drive me to the airport tomorrow, but at the very least she said she can dump me off at the light rail when she comes to get the hamster. I hope the airport won't be too crazy with the holiday... I remember when I was going home in 2000 for Am's graduation, I got to Logan and it was swamped, and I was like, wtf it's like a holiday in here! Cuz it totally was and I hadn't realized.

Speaking of the holiday, I was just thinking last night about how I haven't watched the Indy 500 in ages, and how sad that it got boring and lame, but then today I find out there's a chick in the race! And she is actually a favorite! So now I'm really interested, and I hope I can get a TV to watch part of the race somewhere.

This weekend should be mega fun. I feel like I already have 2348734 social events lined up, which is rad. I'm supposed to finish this outline thing for the doctoral group, so I'll have to work a little. If I have time.

I had a bit of a panic tonight, but I got through it, and I realized that these two weeks will probably have their challenges, but I can not be a freak. It's admittedly very hard to go to Boston after a long time... it's sort of like when I would go home when my sis still lived at home, and I'd sort of feel like, doodeedoo, this should be the same, but everyone is different. Things have been happening, and it all looks the same, but it's not. It was actually easy going home for stuff like Thanksgiving this year, because it was all so radically different in every way, that I couldn't feel disoriented by my expectations being violated. But I can handle things, if I just try hard enough.

<0328>

Yesterday I did very little... some quals stuff, and then lots of time over with Lynn watching 24 and assorted other TV. Today I had lunch with Theresa and then to the SPCA... there were a bunch of kittens today. One was totally meowy and wanted to be petted. Then there was another one that was sitting in it's box staring at me, and while I was petting the other one, it crept out to the front of the cage, so I went to pet it too, and it darted back into the box. So I thought, this cat is a big scaredy! But then T came over and stuck her fingers in, and the cat pounced on them, so I realized it had been playing with me. Aw, I want kitties, but then I go look at the adult cats and they excite me not at all. But kittens are awesome.

There was also a chihuahua there that was totally a squeak toy.

So then I did nothing and finally got going on my paper after the Idol. But it didn't take long, since it basically was talking about my advisor's research, which I can babble on about quite a bit. I wish I could feel more free now that my papers are all done, but I'm just tired, and I need to do laundry, pack, and try to squeeze in some quals prep. I wish I had some more time. But Boston will be fun.

I got a hotel room for Friday night, because everything will be crazy with people packing and some other folks out of town, so I figured it would be nice to know I can escape whenever and that I'll have a real bed to sleep in. I'll chill at Court's Saturday, and then I hope to have housing Sunday on until the very last night. I'd never used Hotwire, but it's pretty cool, and if you poke around other hotel websites in conjunction, you can guess which hotels are which based on their location and amenities... they give the prices anonymously and you have to order in good faith. I guessed my hotel based on it being on the river and having a business center! I wish I could see if my other guesses were right!

I think the trip will be really fun. The schedule of social events is packed and really awesome. I told Schneider I felt like I was going on a cruise. There are a lot of people to hang out with, esp since it's been so dang long since I was there. I just have to not get too overwhelmed, as I have a tendency to do when there are a lot of people around. I just gotta remember it's vacation and I don't live there anymore, and anything crappy I can just shove aside.

In terrible news today, I got word that the mom of this professor of mine fell and died... she lost and never regained consciousness. I feel so bad, and this prof is one of the kindest people in the world... very sad.

<0251>

My sleep schedule is so massively screwed up. I stayed up until like 5 last night, watching Eyes Wide Shut and goofing off. Woke up this morning at 7 to jackhammers... dammit, why didn't I remember they would return? This time I decided the living room couch would be preferable, so I slept there a couple of hours before I realized the loud stuff was over and went back.

But then I did jack today before going to watch 24. Ah, 24!

But now I only have 3 days left, and so much to do, including write this stupid last paper! It's just not a useful paper, and I'm going to just have to fart it out tomorrow. And I need to do stuff at school on Weds, and laundry, and packing, and try to get some more quals stuff done. Grah.

I hope these two weeks in Boston will be fun, though. Because otherwise my life just seems like a constant stream of shit I should be doing.

<0121>

Har, I just totally snarked at some college kids. I am officially old and crotchedy.

For the record, they were banging on the door like crazy people. Come on, I know everyone has phones now, just call the dude! I stuck my head out the door, and they saw me and immediately started to apologize, and I was just like, hey, stop that!

<0349>

OMG I have to go to Six Flags in NJ and ride the new insane roller coaster!

<1234>

The one thing I discovered last night is that without school, I can keep any insane hours I want until Friday, because I don't have to be anywhere in the morning!

<1841>

Ladeeda, reading this book on my paper topic instead of writing... but actually I keep filling in my semi-outline, and it's over 3 pages already, so I mostly just need to make full sentences.

I'm getting sort of psyched to get out of town. There are so many people I need to hang out with in Boston, and I need to go to the Kong and Chuck's and Shay's a billion times each. Ooh, and North End, gotta hit that.

Okay, the ice cream truck is playing "O Come all Ye Faithful."

<2301>

Yeah, so like that worker crew with the water pump was here until 6 am, digging holes and pumping water and running their truck and chatting at a regular volume (which I tried not to be too annoyed about, because it must have been boring as hell, because I think they were waiting for parts or expertise at some point). But then the water came back, but I was soooo tired when I got up. So basically, there were loud noises and workers crews around from 7 am to 6 am (it rained, so no sidewalk crew the rest of the morning)... the day after I was up from 7 am to 4 am, when instead I was trying to sleep. Totally lame!

Did I complain about Wednesday's exam? Oh, I didn't. It was suck. Two hours, 8 questions we had to answer (2 of 4, 4 of 7, 2 of 2). I actually dreamed the quals was the same format and I wasted 15 minutes settling in and wrestling with a bunch of papers (which was more like doing Biostats... so much paper between the output, questionnaire, other THR paper I was ganking stuff from, other random crap). Actually, between the exam arriving late, and numerous interruptions due to one of the pages being missing for some people, there were probably 15 minutes wasted. But she allowed us to go upstairs to finish after the alloted class time. Still, the questions were largely redundant, and my hand hurt a lot. And I couldn't remember step 2 of Pirie's typology because I had no idea there would be a recall question on it... I can talk about each part just fine, and I talked about step 2 without remembering its name. But, dude.

So yesterday I got home, majorly putzed around and vaguely outlined my next paper, then slept for like 6 hours. Got up, watched Finding Nemo, and then went back to bed. Today I went down to DC to help someone move her stuff to storage, which was cool cuz the weather was beautiful and so I minded being out of the house not at all. Since I can't seem to bring myself to write this paper until tomorrow, when I can maybe devote the whole day and more concentration to it, I've been quals prepping, which is somehow more like piecing together a big puzzle. And it's stuff I need to do sometime before I leave, so if I can't write papers, I should qork on quals.

<0241>

OMG, eat me, Biostats.

Actually, it hasn't been so bad, and the results of my simple analyses were, thankfully, simple to report! And I could totally gank the methods from this published paper, and a lot of the intro from my 2nd term paper. Woot! I only have the discussion left, which I was all cranked to do until Word died a fiery death as I was saving the introduction I'd just toiled over. So I had to totally restart the computer, but thankfully it had autosaved right after all the hard parts of the intro, so I only had one easy paragraph to fix, but now I feel fried. I have plenty of time to whip that up tomorrow... project isn't due until three. I'm clearly going to miss the actual class tomorrow, which probably means he's going to bring cash money or something for the people who actually make it. But such is life.

Part of me is tempted, just because I'm up and sober, to go to Paper Moon or someplace in mi coche. But I am also way tired.

<1226>

So, yesterday when I got home, I noted there were no parking cones on my half-block, and so I moved my car and then when I got in the house, there was a note from the city that they would be re-doing the sidewalks in the area. Cool!

So last night I stayed up very late, as noted above, probably falling asleep by about four. No problem, I have lots of time to sleep well, get up and finish Biostats.

UNTIL 7 AM WHEN ALL BROKE LOOSE. Drills, jackhammers, pounding noises. All morning. I managed to outright sleep through most of it, but it was rough. I essentially got 3 hours of real sleep followed by 5 hours of shitty sleep. And now there's no sidewalk in front of my house, just a pile of rubble.

A good time to have started this project would have been yesterday, when I had to be up at 7 anyway. Or, like, the two weeks I'll be out of town. Also, the city needs to pass out earplugs and calm down the fumes that come out of their equipment. My throat is all swelly.

<2011>

My throat is still all swelly. I hope I'm not getting sick. I still have 2 papers to write! I am utterly unmotivated to start the next one, which is due Monday at the latest, but which I should get done. Though maybe I'll do some mindless quals prep instead. Or nap some more.

<2136>

Okay, so earlier when I crossed the rubble to go out, I noticed that there was water trickling out from somewhere, but not gushing intensely, so I figured it was a problem that was under control. Now there's a big truck outside, and there are three guys standing around a huge hole that earlier was actually filled with water when I went to see wtf was going on. There's a big pump spewing water into the street. Where is the water coming from? I don't know, but it comes from the same place that puts water in my house, as I currently don't have any running.

They need to really fix this a) now, because I like water; and b) before I go to bed, because that pump is really loud.

<0052>

Once again, too few hours until I have to be awake.

To take a final! :p

But studying for the final was doubly productive, in that I also culled out useful quals info at the same time.

<0733>

So effing tired. Why can't I sleep when I need to?!

Final exam, class, home to nap, then Biostats until 3:30 tomorrow. It's going to be a pile of crap, but it will get done.

OMG, you suck Biostats!

It'll get done. But it won't be pretty.

<1128>

Why was I awake until 3:30 last night? :p

And my arm hurts for no apparent reason. If I had to guess what the deal is, I'd say some kinda of pinched nerve at the shoulder, as certain movements seem to invoke fiery acute pain, but it isn't sort of generically sore. It sucks. :-(

Also suck: this girl in my group for my class this morning. We were all supposed to present the slides we'd made. Mine were second, after Idiot Girl's. We should never have let her go first. She rambled inanely through her slides and then through mine. She did not respond to subtle hints like me popping up next to her at the podium. Feeling idiotic, I sat back down. And then she started in on the slides after mine so that someone finally interrupted her! What a fucking moron! I was incensed. Dr. B asked me if I had anything to add on those slides, and I was so outraged I hadn't even been listening to what came out of Idiot Girl's mouth, and there was no way coherent non-angry sentences were going to come out, so I was like, nope, she covered it all. After class Dr. B helpfully noted that she understood what all had happened there, and I shouldn't worry. Still, some people deserve a good whack to the side of the head.

Only three more papers. But now, nap.

<2059>

Doing this thing for Capstone class is making me feel pretty good about quals. I'm sure cardiovascular disease won't be on there, or at least not in quite this format, but I'm sure there are plenty of interventions in other areas that have a good but not overwhelming range of literature. And I'm sure other people have discovered good interventions which they will all share before the quals, so I'll have a nice library of potential topics. Looking back at old exams, there was only one that I felt like I'd have to dig to find something; otherwise, I had an idea to at least check out right away for at least one topic.

<0027>

I generally don't get too involved in celebrity lives, but I actually am feeling the Dave Chappelle thing. Get better, man, we miss you.

<1828>

Today I went to the Cylburn Arboretum here in Baltimore, because the GRO Guide said it was nice. It is nice! It has both cultivated areas, such as gardens, and trails off into woodsy parts. It's weird to feel like I'm in a forest while really still out in the suburbs. It was cool. I didn't get much reading done. And I bailed before the rain got too close.

It was also nice to do something useful with the car that wasn't shopping. :-D

Now I don't wanna do work!

<2349

OMG Donnie Darko.

<0041>

Instead of doing any work after Top Model/Idol, I putzed around and then decided to go for a drive, which was fun, but then I had to park, which was not fun. I had to go get gas because I was running low and I was afraid parking would happen inadvertantly in the middle of the street. Lame. I ended up parking somewhere I think is legal, but no one was parked there. Perhaps just pluralistic ignorance.

But anyway, I didn't write a damn thing tonight. I suck.

<2123>

Something is really wrong with my brain. I've been having the hardest time spelling tonight. Organization has tripped me up a number of times. I just typed community in some odd way like cumminty.

<0718>

Dear people who I don't know, but who was digging through my archives from the med school: you made me spend 15 minutes this mornign retracing your footsteps to make sure I didn't trash any person or institution.

But I've generally learned to put my specific wraths elsewhere. :-/

<1956>

Aw, the banquet. I totally blocked out that it was happening, and then I was reminded as soon as I turned on my email tonight. :-( I love the banquet!

But I did get to hang out with T, which was fun. We went to Panera for dinner, and then I got to show her my car which she loved! She's pretty effusive anyway, but I was happy because I feel like I really did get a good deal and make the right decision. Validation!

OMG Idol time!

<2206>

Urg, I'm tired. I need to finish this paper and/or get going on this other one. But I am just. too. tired.

Sleep now, paper later.

<2213>

OMG 24 they are all so fucked.

So, I dealt with the last bit of car bureaucracy today, getting my parking permit. It actually was not a big hassle at all, esp considering I brought my car reg, unlike the guy before me in line. Also the other people at the desk were leasing their car, which I'm sure was extra fun.

I'm working on a paper that is due Friday. This pains me immensely. But I have so many papers due next week.

<0105>

Having watched all of an episode of the Apprentice ever, I think I'm going to apply. We'll see how I feel about this in the afternoon, but I think I can at least get an interview, you think? I can be pretty ruthless and charming if I try, no? For that matter, I do know a few people more ruthless and charming than me, eh?

<1308>

I will probably not be applying to the Apprentice. But it sounded like a really good idea while somewhat toxed.

Happy Mother's Day, Mother!

<2138>

M called, which was nice. He's got both the job thing and the summer Euro trip worked out, which is great. Sounds like things are pretty chill in Cambridge, besides the usual end-of-year stuff.

<0054>

Car woot! I got it registered today... it took like 3 hours, but the guy at the counter was super nice, questioned not my much lower sale price in calculating sales tax, and was overall pleasant. I think it helped that I actually understood that the much faster moving D numbers were something easy (renewals) while the E numbers must be titles and other hard things. Then again, once I actually got up there, it didn't take that long, but I imagine other people may have more issues. But while it's annoying to wait for hours to get my plates, it only happens once, and I'd be peeved if I had to wait that long for an easy renewal.

Then again, it is possible to do renewal online. Then again, I'm guessing the MVA crowd is not the most computer-enabled, which sucks for them.

Anyway, I plunked the plates in the vehicle (after screwing up the stickers... this year sticker that says 5 is odd... oh wait, that was the month sticker... let me put it in little torn pieces on the other side of the plate), and drove off for errands! Lesson 1: go get a drink so you don't get so damn dehydrated and blah while navigating traffic. I drove up to Towson... I think I've figured out a better way to get there now that I've done some Google mapping, but today it was up York Rd. Which also has construction in parts, making it worse than normal. I miss ABQ roads where you can actually drive 50 during the day. I went to Trader Joe's, Petsmart for some bedding for the fuzzy, and then to Wells for some beer, wine and liquor goodness. Wooo errands!

I took a nap this evening, tired from my travels. I gotta pace myself. :-)

So I was going to get excited about seeing some hot air balloons this weekend as part of the Preakness gear-up, but there are only like 6. Six balloons is like, whatthefuckever.

<0149>

Be cool, or be crappy. But don't alternate, please.

<1821>

Car!!!

So now I just have to wait for insurance to clear, then go register, then I can actually drive it around.

<0719>

I am too tired to live. I don't care about sustainability or qualitative research today. I'm going back to bed!

<2038>

So, if the car passes safety inspection and the FL mechanic says nice things about it, I think I'm getting it. People have generally been supporting the car idea, which makes me feel better. And there's no way to know whether the car will be awesome and totally reliable or will break and need a huge repair, so, at some point I just have to take on some risk if I want a car that isn't new.

<2052>

The other thing is that I'd been trying to play a car and a laptop off each other. But the thing is, as much as my current laptop tries to plead brokenness, and as much utility as I get out of computers in general, I do already have a working laptop. I lack a car entirely. Having a car in that sense provides more marginal utility at this point.

<2130>

Yay! Goodbye you fat phone-throwing fuck!

<1833>

I should give you more time to let your wisdom catch up with you.

Should I get this car or what?

<0705>

Sicko.

I super hate Monday mornings. I had a dream last night that I was doing the quals, and it wasn't so painful, because it only needed to be 8 pages, but I failed to account for enough printing and travel time, so I was late and it didn't count.

Guh. You used to be so good.

<0130>

So, in a tipsy decisive moment, I reserved my tickets to Boston for dead week. I'm coming in Friday May 27, and leaving Saturday June 10. Which I'll probably regret in terms of quals prep, but then again, whatever. I'll bring my laptop, which I've already renewed the netconnection on (yes, they never throw out any ID numbers), and I can do stuff from there. Considering I want to be in by Tuesday night anyway, and I dunno when this silly HSR bit is supposed to be, I may as well come in early and hit any early Dead Week parties. I have no reason to be in B-more.

<1436>

OMG, what did I do?! I can't go to Boston that early!

Heh, just kidding, it just took me a sec this morning to remember that I'd actually booked plane tickets. But I think it's the right move. I probably won't get a lot of stuff done anyway, so I may as well be having fun instead of putzing around my house.

Like I've done all this weekend. It's sunny out, but super windy, and I hate wind, so even though it might be nice to go and see Springfest, I'm feeling unenthusiastic about moving air. I also need to get some reading done, which will be hard to accomplish outside if it's windy. I should also shower. :-/

I cut my hand yesterday doing dishes, because my Band champagne glass, which often falls over, decided not to break after falling over, but while I had a sponge and my hand shoved in it. Lovely. So I have a big ugly gouge on my right first finger that is not really doing the scabbing thing as well as it ought to. I had a bandaid on it all night, and I think that prevented the requisite air contact, so now I have it smothered in Neosporin. But I need to shower, so I hope it doesn't start bleeding... and then I still need to do dishes because I didn't get very far before I had to stop! Suck. Damn Band and its hazardous banquet gifts.

I'm such a little baby, I'm so sad that no one has commented on my absence from hubba. No one loves me! Waaaaa.

Bantha keeps going down... so annoying. Also, someone please tell me if I should buy a car? I can't make my own life decisions.

<2128>

Oh man, new Family Guy was so excellent!