I did some shopping in the square last night after work (bought a new hat! yes, the blue one I lost in ABQ somewhere), and then napped in the BR before hitting karaoke. Didn't sing due to my cold, but it was fun. But I was out too late, and felt sorta bleh, so with M's wise advice, I called in sick. I was only going to go in for four hours anyway, and so it hardly seemed worth it to go in feeling crappy and not do anything productive anyway. So I slept until 1.

I love sleep so much.

Now I have a dentist appointment woo. Woo.

Ow sore gums after not that much poking. But it'll be all good.

Went grocery shopping and then to the beer store. Mmmm, beer.

I hope it's not too smoky at the Cube, cuz I won't be able to breathe.

It occurs to me I hardly ever make New Year's resolutions. I make resolutions throughout the year, on an ongoing basis. I do retrospect a bit. 2003 was a really good year. Usually odd years sort of blow for me, but this one was just totally solid. The first part was dominated by the diet study, and that was just such a unique experience whose dividends have continued to pay off. I feel a thousands times better and more energetic than I did before, and I've kept all the weight off and not felt deprived since I finished in late April. I'm in good shape, and I can keep up with all these young thangs I like so much. As the diet was ending, I started becoming closer with a lot of folks and I started to make new friends. A lot of social anxiety I'd had started vanishing long ago, but this year I can certainly say that I felt settled and content around people, and that I haven't run into a lot of loneliness and restlessness. Part of that is with more energy, I can go out and find people to see and things to do. Additionally, I've kept up better with happenings in the world, and though I haven't read a book in ages, I've been reading a lot of paper and online magazines. I could certainly do a better job of being an adult, like keeping my room not a disaster, catching up with laundry, and going grocery shopping instead of eating out all the time, but these things take more practice. For now, I feel good, I'm happy with my life, I have delightful friends and a super hottie, and if all goes well soon I'll be hearing great things from grad schools. 2003: you rocked the hizzy. I hope 2004 will rock the hizzy to the friggin ground.

Bleargh! Stupid cold. I'm not so sniffly (though my throat killed this morning), just really fucking tired. Soooooo tiiiiiiiiired.

Didn't help that I was up a bit late last night. Met Mike and Danny for some Redbones yumminess after work, and then we went to this little bar that was cheap and had a great jukebox and was awesome. It's my new favorite bar.

I should be good and not go to karaoke tonight, but I want to.

Back at work for ten seconds before a fiery rage of hate broiled up. Even though my bosses went on and on about how when I went off on vacation I should turn over leftover phone calls to them, since there would be ample time and people might actually be home, none of the calls got made. I would have taken them home with me if I'd known that would happen. Now I'm back, my plans for the week are all screwed up, I'm angry, so I'm not getting anything done, and I DON'T WANT TO MAKE ANY FUCKING PHONE CALLS. I hate phone calls. I even thought about quitting for a split second, I was so mad. Why do people lie to me?!

Okay, a real recap of vacation. First the trip there: 1) Left work at ~1:40 pm. train didn't come until 2. 2) Shuttle from T to airport wicked crazy full of insane people. 3) Get to United counter at Terminal C. Put in my credit card, and the little terminal tells me that my flight to Denver is leaving 50 minutes later than scheduled, leaving me 23 minutes to change flights in Denver, and encourages me to talk to an agent and maybe change plans. I do so, and the agents hover around a computer, noting that I'm scheduled to leave on the *last* flight from Denver to ABQ that night (at like 8 pm? What the hell?), and so they browse all the airlines for a different route. They book me on Northwestern, through Minneapolis, leaving at 5:50. 4) I shlep to Terminal E, happy that there's no snow or crap on the ground since the only way I can find to get there is outside. Since I had left work anticipating a 4:30 flight, and now I had a 5:50 flight, I had about 2 hours to kill. I went to the bar and drank karaoke-like amounts of beer while trying to read. At first it was easy, but it got a lot harder! I demanded a hot dog finally, and had to buy candy later for further sobering. 5) Hearing some announcement about my flight, I assume we are boarding. I get the check, and when I paid it, the bartender asked me if I was a waitress or something, because I guess my tip was more than the shitty tips other airport patrons must give. I said I'm used to going out with naughty friends who give the bartender trouble. 6) Go to the gate only to discover that the announcement was for my flight being delayed 15 minutes. Since my transfer in Minn was only scheduled to be 40 mintues, I hyperventilate at the desk until someone assures me we're not going to land much later than scheduled. They continue to assure us all of this evene as we end up leaving like 30 minutes late. 7) Only 5 hours since I left work, and I'm just starting my first flight! Woo! I sit next to a nice man who works with lasers. Drank lots of coffee to sober up. I was in the middle seat, so I didn't sleep, but read. 8) Arrive in Minneapolis 23 minutes before the scheduled departure of my next flight. Gee, ironic. Check the board only to discover my flight was leaving from the other terminal! Oh, but it's 30 minutes delayed. Whew! 9) Cinnabon emits beautiful smells, but is closed. The airport is hopping, and yet no cinnamon goodness is to be had. I get to my gate, settle in, and a gate change is announced... to the gate adjacent to the one I just left my first flight. Walk all the way back to the other terminal, cursing. 10) Get home 2 hours late. But at least that day! Check my email on my return and discover that the flight to Denver was even more delayed than when I saw it, so I really would have been stuck there all night if I'd stayed with the original itinerary, cuz the flight to Albuquerque wasn't delayed at all.

Saturday was tamale making at the Bacas, always a party time. Then to dinner with the fam, and then I think we just slacked off all night. Sunday we saw Return of the King, and it was glorious. That night Am and I went to the bookstore, and then to Bennigan's with her boy for some drainks. Monday she and I went shopping, and then that night Josh joined us and our dad for some Lobo hoops, as they kicked the Aggies sorry butts.

Tuesday I went shopping with my mom, then that night all the kids met up at the Frontier. All the Bacas, Creels, Jensens, and Gwen. Wednesday I sat around all day watching TV, including that debacle of a bowl game. We opened presents, and then went to bed. Thursday I wished that stores were open because Christmas is boring these days. I started to sort through the crap in my room, and watched more TV. Friday was shopping madness, as Am and I hit the mall hard for a few hours, and I got a cute fauz-leather skirt at Hot Topic, new blue Skechers, and lots of pants.

That night was my five-year reunion. It was cra-zay! Five years is a weird timeframe, because we're all a little different, but not so different as to be totally different. This leads to the brain weirdly bobbing back and forth between feeling like I just saw all these people and WOW I haven't seen these people in forever! Totally strange. For the most part, everyone talked to everyone, not just their old friends, because we were all curious about everyone, and heck, most of us probably have more in common with random other classmates than our old friends anyway. People for the most part seem to be doing pretty well, and too many people are married, which is WEIRD. I had a great time.

Saturday I sorted through more of my stuff, then we went to this little bar to meet up with folks for a little while. Then I said bye to Am, called M back and talked to him a while, and by then it was around 1 am and I had to go through my closet, a hellhole. That took about three hours, then I folded my laundry and packed and got about 90 minutes of sleep before getting up, showering and heading to the airport. My flight home was flawless, and I slept through most of it. I even got some Cinnabon in Cinci. Back at home I felt a little lonely and dour, which I think is more conditioning than an actual feeling, but some milk and Milanos helped, and I went to sleep around 9, straight through until this morning.

I wish I'd slept until noon, so I wouldn't have to be at work. I protest my bosses screwing me over by not doing anything productive this morning. Pbbbbt!

Tonight there will possibly be Redbones with the boys who are in town. Being social is good.

Dear Sir. I know all about you. And I know where you live.

Dear Madam. You are a liar and a cheat. I've been supportive as I could be, but you've been dishonest and childish.

Dude, UNM... I hope no one watched that football game other than me. It was really awful.

Other than that, awesome Christmas gifts. Though I wish the stores were open tomorrow, because I will be bored. I guess I should sort through crap in my room. And go for a walk.

I can't believe how friggin fast this week is going. Rar.

Being in Albuquerque makes me uncomfortable, especially without access to my own car, because I can't go anywhere I want like in Boston. Getting to the fucking mall tomorrow is like a major ordeal that requires planning and crap. I want to be able to just go to sleep, get up whenever, and go to the damn mall whenever. Planning to shop makes my insides shrivel with the hate of the world.

Hey kids, sorry for the lack of updates. I is lame. I will post a recap of my crazy travel here at some point. Since I got home I've been busy sleeping and shopping and hanging out with the kids. And I lack sufficient time to do all the things I ought to do before I leave. Nuts. But life is warm and fun here in old NM.

Yo soy super fuckin badass!!!! W00t!!! Apps are all set (well, some mailing to be done at work tomorrow, but whatev), Quicken is updated, crap on my desk is filed, AND I AM PACKED! As of midnight. I am rock. Unfortunately all my clothes refused to fit in the svelt wheely backpack (damn winter clothes... summer was no prob, bob), so I upgraded to the wheely duffel, which is majorly larpy and tugs on my shoulders unpleasantly. But it's not entirely full, which means it probably will be on the return, which means cab cab cab. It's sort of annoying that I'm going to work tomorrow and have to lug it there and then to the airport. Beh. But woo for home!

I had a ton of crap to do last night. I made it to Target, got shampoo and laundry detergent, hauled my ass uphill feeling like crap all the way, got home, put on pajamas, and promptly crashed. I got up after a couple of hours, checked my email and turned off the lights, and went back to bed. I set my alarm for 7, figuring that was plenty of sleep, but then i aoke at 6:45 and changed it to 8! And it actually had to wake me up!

I suspect that going to the bar and then not sleeping much the day of a flu shot lead to this need for tons of sleep. My body was like, hey, do you want me to make these antibodies or not? I got a lot of work to do here, so you need to stop running around while I do it!

Of course, this means I need to do laundry, finish my grad school apps, and pack all tonight. But I'm also determined to get to the gym today. I don't really need to sleep that much tonight. I'm only working four hours tomorrow, and then I'm flying, so I can sleep then, and I can sleep a ton all damn week.

Also, the forecast for next week is AWESOME! In the fifties all week (except Monday, when it will be 40! Oh no! Whatever will I do!), compared to in the 30s all week here in craptown.

I hope some of these damn people call me back today so I am not leaving an embarrassingly high number of unfinished phone calls for Holly and Jeff. This will reveal my slckerness at getting ahold of these people.

Though I feel like my hatred for phone calls is justified. For example, I just talked to a dude who was working and the short little interview took forever because he kept getting interrupted. I mean, seriously. I tried calling this other woman whose husband keeps answering and asking me amillion questions about who I am instread of just leaving it at his wife isn't home. Rar. Jeff can deal with these folks, because he deals with them everyday and he's the most tolerant person alive, and Holly is pretty friendly too, but let's face it, I fuckin hate most people. I'd say maybe it was an elitism thing, but I hated dealing with people when I was a user assistant at Harvard, and those were Harvard people! My classmates! But man, they were annoying! I like my friends, and after that I could really do without human contact.

Wow, I know that was really misanthropic, and it makes me sound like I'm in a bad mood. I'm totally not. I just really mean it!

I hope the fam wants to see Return of the King on Sunday, cuz it sounds so great! Saturday is tamale making, so I suppose we could go to the late show, but it's far cheaper to go before 2.

M informs me I have to go see RotK NOW. Like, right now. :-)

Stupid flu shot. Here I am at 9 pm after having slept all last night, and I'm running out of gas. I have to fold laundry, finish my apps, update Quicken, and pack. Need to be awake!

I always buys tons of crap when I'm at home, but that's normally after xmas, and this there I'll only be home two days after that, so maybe I don't have to worry about bringing a big old extra bag. Hrm. Must ponder.

I actually got a lot of work done yesterday, all except the things that really really need to be done. I somehow think that's going to happen today, even though my brain hurts. But I really have a crapload of things to do at work and at home before I can leave town.

After work yesterday, I met up with Q, and we went to Harvard. Hung around the BR a bit, then Q ran away so I could have dinner with Matty. Pho Pasteur is friggin fast, and not as pricey as I thought it was. They seated us by the window, which was fun. Then there was 24 and karaoke. I got dissed from singing "Time After Time" when they let a big gay black man sing it instead, but I immediately put in "Louie Louie" and got called up five minutes later. Clearly I am becoming a regular, or I'm just good at picking songs that people love but no one sings.

Blarg. I feel yech.

Oh my god, phone calls are so heinous. People are nuts.

Okay, only five more to try, and then I am free for the day. I can do this.

You know what's neat? Power outage at 4 am. Actually, I was sleeping through it just fine until my roommate woke me up to inquire whether we should be concerned that the fire alarm was making a small beeping. It beeps when the power goes out. But there was another beep! That turned out to be the other roommate's computer, which had not shut down properly and was losing battery power. Woo. Then I couldn't sleep for a while. I guess I shouldn't complain though, because my roommate had her final rpoject due today (ah, that explains why she's never home), and she was at studio working on it, but then they made everyone leave due to a gas leak. So then she got home and there was no power, and that was sad. Man, what a nightmare. I hope she finished.

It is wicked slushy outside, but I was forewarned to wear boots, so I think I'll survive.

Now for coffee with Q!

I get a little scared. It can't be good to be so happy, it's definitely no good to let go of your worries. What if I'm too silly or wacky or weird, what if I'm not pretty, what if I'm just tiring and burdensome. I get too giddy and happy, I forget to be cynical and distanced, I just want to forget. Forget and forget and live in that drowsy bliss forever. I'm used to only living in drowsy bliss as an illusion, as a fantasy that gets snatched away and replaced with coldness in the morning. So what is this, this is what normal people seem to do, but part of me I try to smother just waits for the coldness. But, I don't, I ignore that, I revel in the warmth for now, warmth I knew existed for other people but which always eluded me. It's too good, so gentle, it tugs so softly sometimes I can hardly believe it's there.

Wow, the more I find out about that crazy span of time when I was being silly at the party, the more silly and ridiculous I feel! And I feel even luckier to have someone so wonderful and patient in accomodating my insane whims and ramblings.

Waah. Weeks and weeks.

The office holiday party was lovely and there was a crapload of awesome food. Egg nog cheesecake drooooool.

But it's snowing. Beh!

Two loads of laundry done tonight. Two more bagged up and ready for tomorrow night. Three more sitting around. Yup. I'm not kidding. I suck.

Went to the BR after my half day of work, and Jenn was there! Hoo-ray! We went to Chuck's and had some lunch and caught up. Caroling was fun, but cold. Some things fell through, and Shriners wanted us later than they did back in my day, so there was a lot of playing at Park St in the cold. Brrr. That tired me out lots, so I didn't go to crusty dinner, but lounged around the BR, and then in Eliot.

Then the party! It was wild good times. The boys made fun of my shirt just to make me mad, but it was well-received generally. I drank lots and so the whole night was fuzzy and happy. I failed in my mission to kiss everyone; anyone with complaints should write to the chief. :-)

Tonight I get to be ticket lady for the Jazz Band concert. Woo!

Caroling and Christmas party woo!

My outfit for the party is totally HOT! We went to the skanky clothes store, and I bought a strapless top, rowr. As Clark said, is the rest of the shirt on layaway? But it is really classy, I swear.

I also found Sylk at the little liquor store just up Mass Ave! It was promptly devoured in the BR, but I managed to take some home with me.

:-)

Mmm, Snickers bar with almonds is tasty. Much better than peanuts.

Yesterday Courtenay came by work to talk to my bosses in the event we get a job opening. Then we went to Starbucks and hung out forever, which was great because she is the best! Then after work, I went to the mall and accomplished a very little bit of shopping. More tonight. I'm going clothes shopping with the Schneider because I discovered the shirt I intended to wear looks decidedly sacky. Not at all hot and well-fitted. I have another possible shirt, but I just wore it to a party last spring, and I can do better. Still a few little gifts to buy here and there too... people are hard to shop for.

My desk is covered in paper!

24 was so epic last night!!!

Then karaoke. I sang Wooly Bully, and the Courts and I sang Love Shack, and I got to be the dude. :-) It was a blast. Until the end of the night when that larpy idiot Kinnebrew decided that Cambridge smoking ordinances didn't apply to him and he could smoke inside the bar, and then was a dick about it. Stupid fuck. I felt really bad for the waitress, because she is really cool and shouldn't have to put up with that kind of bullshit. The guys were all like, eh, so he's a dick, chill out, but I do not enjoy associating with people who behave that way, and I like the people and Charlie's to like me, thanks. Rar. Also, I misplaced a $20 sometime in the last two days, and I would assume it was at the bar, but you never know.

I am sooo tired today, though. Beh.

He cracks me up.

Good old Tuesday, 24 and karaoke on the horizon... though it couldn't hurt me to get some damn sleep.

Not only am I tired for no apparent reason, but the commute in today was hellish. I fucken hate snow.

My vacation is too far away.

And I really need to do laundry... tonight perhaps, now that it looks like the back is shoveled out a bit.

It never ceases to amaze me how the persons who treat a group most horribly, bitchily, condescendingly, and with the least amount of respect fathomable can go around accusing that group of people of not being supportive and of being mean. Meanwhile, people who are generally kind and nice see no problem with the same group of people. MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENS DOESN'T IT?

I dunno, if I was acting like a shrill horrible psycho hose beast, I'd appreciate my friends trying to provide some explanation for my otherwise inexcusable evilness. But then again, if I was behaving that way, I probably wouldn't have any friends.

In other news, some people's definitions of what is female makes me want to kill things. In a very female kind of homicidal way.

I just got a notification that my Hopkins app has been sent on to the department for review and I should hear back (by mail! argh!) in 3-4 weeks. Gaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! Please take meeee!

Gore is going to endorse Dean! Kickass!

Preemptive jealousy = so adorable!

Also, pint of Bass = so tipsy!

The weekend was as great as expected!

Friday night there was hockey, which we won. After Matty and I went to Burdick's, where I shamefully admitted I had never been there before, even though I've only lived here more than five years now and it's right in the Square. Hot chocolate of happy bliss. Then back to Eliot to watch Punch Drunk Love, which is still a great little weird movie.

Saturday I watched some Sports Night in the BR, care of Dr. Phelps, ie, Jeremy. It's a really amazingly good show, and I may have to procure it myself so I can watch the whole thing. I had to trudge out in the insane amounts of snow, most of which had not faced adequate plowing (and it was still coming down strong) to get liquor for Lee, and then back to go to the hockey game. Another win for the women. Then in the evening, there was the Wind Ensemble concert, which was fairly entertaining, not that I have high expectations thanks to Tom's, er, unusual taste in music, and there was egg nog and cake afterwards, so woo. And then to Lee's for a bit more fun before wonderful sleep.

And thus with my weekend in Cambridge concluded, I returned home through the crazy streets to my quiet Somerville abode.

I need to do laundry, but there seems to be feet of snow all around my house. So the laundry piles up some more on the floor.

I should also be productive, but I am tired. I am le tired!

Mmmm, sweet sweet nap, but now I am up too late!

I'm very content with several things right now.

Crazy morning! And I was lucky. So, I left my house about half hour later than I normally do because I was slow and had lots of little crap to take care of. I knew I had missed my regular bus, and I was quite sure I'd miss the bus after, which would put me at work pretty late, but oh well, my boss isn't in today anyway. So I get down to the bus stop, and there's a horde of people waiting. This assured me that I had not missed the late bus; as I approached and noticed all my regular bus friends, I realized I hadn't even missed my regular bus. Turns out I also didn't miss the bus before that: two buses were out of commission. Good old cold, as soon as it starts for real, the buses stop running. So one comes shortly after my arrival, and we all pile on, and everyone is cozy and corwded. We get to Kendall, and poor wheelchair dude who often gets on my regular bus was waiting in the cold. So the bus gets more cramped as three seats get vacated, and then the bus driver goes to lower the wheelchair dealie. Which promptly sticks in a position that not only makes it unfunctional for lifting a wheelchair, but also for closing the back door and moving on our merry way with the promise to wheelchair dude that a functioning bus will pick him up.

People trickle off the bus. Soon it's not very full at all! Thank goodness we broke down by a T stop. I decided to stick with it, because I figured at worst the next bus would come if the wheelchair lift couldn't be remedied. It wasn't, and another bus finally came, and we piled on... and the wheelchair lift failed to work properly. But it didn't get stuck, and I think a Ride bus showed up (I hope so... our new bus driver was pretty impatient, though, so it's possible he just sped off when the former bus driver went to go talk to this other MBTA official outside), so we finally took off without wheelchair dude. And no other craziness happened, hooray!

I felt pretty chill about it, I guess because I already didn't give a crap about how late I was going to be today. Also, I didn't stand outside in the butt ass cold for forty minutes.

In other news, my badge is still missing. I may be forced to get a new one, but I think I'll wait to see if it appears in the mail.

Another thing I thought I had lost appeared in my bed, by my foot when I got into it last night. Maybe I should not be such a giant space cadet and put things on my bed when I mean to put them in my backpack.

I can't wait to start my weekend!!!

Except that it's supposed to snow a crapload. I shoulda worn my boots instead of these sneakers. Actually, I should go to REI and buy hip waders. It's the only way to travel.

I'm easily tickled. :-)

I did not want to get out of bed this morning. It was so cozy and warm... I also had crazy dreams last night.

The week is slow... I want to get to my busy weekend!

On that latter note, who am I fucken kidding, I've been predicting all along where that will end up.

Woo karaoke! I sang "You Can't Hurry Love." Next week it'll either be "Time After Time" (finally!) or "Won't You Come Home, Bill Bailey." I suspect the latter, to be truthful.

Oh sigh, I'm so silly. I try to be *cool* but really I end up being a big sap in some ways. Good thing there just isn't enough time in the world for my horrible sappiness to become a big issue. I hope.

So I finally went and donated blood this afternoon. Now I feel slightly woozy. :-) The little card says to eat heartily at my next meal, so maybe I will hit Noch's for some steak and cheese, though I currently have no other reason to be in the square tonight... hrm. I can also go home and eat beans, I spose. Hmmm, or maybe takeout from Redbones, if I feel like voyaging to Davis.

Anyway, it wasn't so bad, though my low blood pressure meant it took a while to get all the blood.

If you really wanna know the truth, I'm pretty disturbed. I poke fun and joke about it, but, geh! I hope that doesn't actually happen.

Okay, seriously distressing that it's December already.

I have five meetings and a lunch this week. Totally out of control. Even if I had wanted to get any work done, I can forget about it.

I have one entire application submitted, to Hopkins. Harvard due in two weeks, and I think all I'm waiting for there is a single rec submission, which should be trivial.

Things outside work are looking pretty busy this week also. I am absolutely required to get to the gym every day come hell or high water. And there's two eps of 24 to watch. And karaoke, I hope. And hockey at the end of the week (I know, if I spent less time with the Band I'd have more time to do other things. Like what? There are also distinct benefits to hanging around, if you know what I'm sayin'. And I think you do). I've also been meaning to donate blood, since all those signs around the hospital give me guilt. :-) And shopping, I need to do some shopping. Also laundry and cleaning and groceries. And I should call a few people. Basiclly none of this is that vital, but it keeps my occupied. :-)

Not that I need that much to keep me occupied. :-)

They are installing a doorbell in the office, putting the conference room out of commission. Since it's a conference call, we can all take it from various offices, so I'm listening to the call from my office. It rules! I can take minutes on the computer, interspersing the boring parts with doing other things. Woo!

Gah, it breaks my heart when cool people are in pain. And I can't do anything to help at all (well, i don't even know exactly what's up, but that's what happens with esoteric people).

Sumpin in the water, I tell ya.