Man I feel like crap today. And everything is pissing me off. I'm still annoyed at that group that went to Salem yesterday, since none of them have bothered to acknowledge that they missed my presentation or to apologize for it. I peeved that I had to replace an empty water tank yet again, because some dickwads around here seem to think they're above it when they drain it. I'm supposed to plan this stupid lunch for tomorrow, and I hate all these people right now, so I have no motivation, and I fucking hate figuring out what to order and all that crap, and it's a big hassle and I just want someone else to do it.

I'm just feeling stupidly overwhelmed. I need to go to the gym, but I just spent the last half hour giong to Stop and Shop, but at least I have food at work now. Maybe the boss will leave early and I'll head over then. Until then, I am uninspired to do even the simplest things.

Man, I don't want to present today. I hate mornings; I definitely don't want to have to talk during them.

In other news, I'm feeling surly about something that shouldn't matter to me. I can't just be happy for people without taking the most trivial selfish interests to mind also.

My presentation went over really well with the colleagues in attendance. People like to talk about recruitment. And I actually know what I'm talking about! Even the surgical stuff, I was surprised at how much I've picked up. I'm pretty peeved at one of the groups, though, as they decided today was the day for a little retreat to Salem. I'm all for happy fun retreats when recruitment goals are met and such, but is it that hard to schedule around the full-group meeting that happens every week? I'm extremely annoyed and have no professional way to lash out. I'll talk to da boss, and maybe he'll say something, but he's too nice.

Tonight! Epic grudge match between 0-18 Francis and 2-19 me! I wouldn't doubt if Ms. O'D posts at least one win tonight!

We should have had the tournament tonight, for I was on a roll. Took two from Jamie before the Drill Meeting, then swept Francis in a highly-attended battle with a very enthusiastic audience, then swept Kenton later on. So now I'm a majestic 10-20 after going 8-1 this evening. When I was 1-14, I noted that last year I went 9-21, and I was like, dude, I'll never catch up with that! I'm also the only person caught up with all my games, plus three.

There are too many people qualified to be on senior staff. And not just sorta qualified, but really heartbreakingly greatly qualified, such that I think choosing is going to be a bitch. If tonight's Drill Master audition is any indication of the quality of these auditions, whoo. I have no idea who all will make it. Well, I do have some ideas as to who will not be on ss, but... I'm not gonna get into that. I mean, last year I narrowed it down to three probable combos, one of which proved correct. This year, I think the final decision will hinge on a lot of hidden factors, like our decision did. Which leaves nosy butts like me helpless because hidden factors you can't figure out ahead of time and maybe not even after!

The moral of the story is that I should really get a life.

I forgot to mention that my foosball greatness all occurred while I kinda felt like ass... my head has been mildly yechy for most of the day, which I blame on not getting to the gym, since I tried treatment with tea and food and Aleve to no avail.

Also, I am a goober. And this isn't going to go anywhere! But maybe I'm just being generally pessimistic due to lack of... something.

Okay, since I'm so obvious, I might as well come out with it: I'm in love with Andre 3000 of OutKast. He's so hot!

As always, I avoiedd making phone calls, and then when I finally did, no one was even home!

Now what to do... I have a whole board full of things to do.

I don't even want anything complex, I just want that little happiness of hanging out for hours with someone who is really cool (and also cute). That's all I want, so why is it so hard to direct myself toward such a simple goal?

24! Holy shit, it's so great! It's like watching a sporting event, how riled up I am afterwards. It's like that crazy game 3 of theSox/As ALDS series, where crazier and crazier shit just keeps happening! So good so good so good. Some viewers in the BR did not quite groove with the over-the-top epic nature of the program, but I think we won at least one convert to the cult of Jack Bauer this evening. It was an opener tight as a tourniquet.

Man, it took forever to get home last night, therefore I went to bed way too damn late, and now I am tired. I wish just once I could not be tired on the weekdays.

Urgh, and I present on Wednesday, which means no karaoke Tues night. Sorry kids.

Doesn't help that it's cloudy and rainy today, esp when I know it will get dark at 4:30. Beh, I am miserable today. And I absentmindedly didn't even think to pack lunch until I was already out of the house. Nor did I eat breakfast. So I went to the New Research Building to see what breakfast was like there, and not only was it not that exciting, but it was more expensive than my other options. And now I'll have to buy lunch too? Maybe I'll just starve; I'm sure that will make me feel better. Maybe Stop and Shop will be my friend.

But I have so much to do. I didn't end up working this weekend, as I should have suspected. Maybe I shouldn't do so much partying on Saturday, because it totally wipes out my Sunday. I spent most of yesterday feeling like shit, and I still pretty much feel the same today. I didn't balance my accounts, I didn't get anywhere on my grad school apps, I didn't clean my room, I didn't do work. And now I'm still fucken tired! All I want is a nap! My neck hurts probably from some sort of crazy dancing Saturday night, and sleeping on it funny last night.

Okay, in addition to no karaoke Tuesday, absolutely no Drink! Neverending Story on Thursday, because goddamnit I need to make it *through* Friday.

Though, gah, end of daylight saving and I'm already feeling antisocial and depressed. It's been a day!

Ah, but there's nothing like a good workout to make me feel better. Ah, I feel so much better!

Ha. Ha ha. Shut the fuck up! Stop laughing at me! :-)

Okay, so maybe I am completely transparent. This does not mean everyone should mock me. Though I totally would mock me if I were me. Er, something like that.

So I ended up at the BR tonight, via Bread and Circus at Central, because I left my CDs there last night. Then I ended up going to Tealuxe with Di and then getting locked out of the BR for a while, since she headed homewards. Everyone else had gone to Tommy's, which I eventually figured out. It wouldn't have been a problem if I hadn't left everything but my purse there. So instead of coming home right away, I stayed forever! And we played MASH, and I got all good things except my husband is Tom.

And hooray for the 88 being late tonight, cuz it was right on time for me!

The good thing about not being too emotionally attached to my impossible whims is that I think I act pretty normally when engaged with reality. I mean, I'm a complete and utter middle school freak otherwise, but I think I manage to be a regular human otherwise. Right kids? Back me up here. Make me feel better.

Oh, also a shout out to my homie, for luring honeys to his lair. ;-)

Damn Matty and his... making me say things that make things really fucking obvious! I'm so dumb! No fair! :-)

Also, gack, why reading web page gack! Someone already spilled! I know it!

Oh what the hell, I don't really care if things get spilled, it don't matter anyway.

I also am bad. But that's for tomorrow, if possible.

Hah, all the above craziness and paranoia brought to you by Island Blue Pucker.

Last night the whole constellation was out and making my head swirl.

Nothing in the past absolves you from your behavior now. Your behavior at this moment is all that matters at this moment. Learn it; love it.

TOGA!

Doo dee doo.

Happy gift-day to my mom!

Today the gym is not providing extra energy. I still need a nap. These kids are talking about going to the Kong with the Princeton Band, and *then* having a party, although a chill one. They're nuts. It makes me tired just thinking about it. They better not be all useless tomorrow for the Toga party or I'll be pizzied. I intend to sleep tonight because we're getting going at like 10 tomorrow, and that's early enough for me.

Though I do kinda want to hang out tonight for various reasons. But... tomorrow will probably be better anyway. Right? I hope so.

The plan for this morning was to get up at 7 and at the very least make breakfast. But I awoke at 6:45, went to the bathroom, and it was dark. And I was still tired despite a second night in a row of 9 hours of sleep. So I went back to bed. And now I really need to get ready for work, and someone is in the bathroom. I love my new roommates, but are schedules are far too aligned, and it's annoying because the bathroom and the kitchen are always being used and I just want to have some damn space to myself in the morning.

RAR.

Man, cryptic away messages are the worst. Unless I can figure them out.

And I can't!

I'll share with you my secret: I'm really fuckin nosy!

So I can't get this silly idea out of my head, but if it worked, it would be cool. Sometime last week I was in the BR and the idea came up about having a BR diary. Something to do with web pages and paper diaries is how it came up. Anyway, I think it could be really cool, as long as people didn't use it for anonymous sniping. Out-front, signed sniping is cool by me, but that's not really the point either. Actual recording of events need not be that important either. It would be good for funny things like MASH games and random graffiti and commentary and telling stories. Then to the archive it goes until the 100th! So, I may get my old mostly unfilled Cities sketchbook and plunk it down there, since it has big blank pages for all sorts of creative. Anyone who has thoughts on this idea should email me.

Meanwhile, this outfit makes me look hot. Pants that fit are a decidedly good thing, and I should buy more of them.

Working is so hard. I'm glad I don't usually do too much of it.

Mid-afternoon exercise R0X0R!!!

The gym is empty! Except for the pectoral fly machine, which every single person uses all the time, I swear. I don't know why, maybe because the physiologists push it like bad crack.

Presentation finished, and amusing abstract for frivolous randomized trial invented. Work is great!

I'm having serious competition for the bottom of the gimp league here. Though I am a measly 1-14 (even worse so far than last year when I went 9-21), Ms. O'Donnell is posting a 0-18 record. We play next week; it should be a battle for the ages.

Squeeeeeeeeeee!!!

This outburst brought to you by ACK ACK ACK SO CUTE I CAN'T STAND IT!

I'm too old for this. No, wait, there's no such thing.

Operation SexyHotness begins its second stage today as I finally joined FitCorp and have an appointment today with someone who will show me all the pretty new machines and how to use them properly. Hoo-ray! This comes at an appropriate time: it'll be six months tomorrow that I finished up that crazy study, and I'm still just below that final weight. Double hoo-ray! So now I need to get buff and help keep away the winter blues with some workin out.

Speaking of winter blues, I left work at 6 last night and it was dark. Next week that will be five! Fuckin standard time, I hate you!

I could try getting up earlier, but ha ha ha.

Aw, exercise is so great!!!

FitCorp is also just about a million times better than the Somerville Y. The Y was the right place for me at the time, but now this is so much more useful to me. For one thing, it doesn't cost all that much more than the Y did. Second, it's a brand spanking new facility. The locker room is full of gorgeous blond wood lockers, has hair dryers, a sauna, changing rooms, and I didn't inspect the showers today (shut up, I didn't get that sweaty), but I suspect they contain shampoo. The main exercise room has approzimately 2387434910239 cardio machines. The treadmills have person TVs. Too bad I like ellipticals so much more, but there are big TVs in the room all set to different things so you can totally ADD on them. There are lots of weight machines too, all shiny and properly aligned for orthopedic health, unlike that old school shit at the Y. I had an appointment with an exercise physiologist today, and she set me up with a program of cardio and weights, and I can meet with her again every so often to adjust it. Rawk. And when I got there at 4, the place was pretty empty, though it picked up quick toward five. So I think I'll try to go between 2 and 4 every day, push off the afternoon sleepies.

Today's jaunt was just too late, and now I won't do any work like I ought to.

What I want more than anything is just to know what you're thinking. And if it's as intriguing as I suspect.

Today's Clue game: FUCKED UP IN DA HEAD.

Seriously, it was wack, but fun. I was Josh, which was awesome but daunting. Awesome because he has so many great distinctive mannerisms, daunting because he's really much funnier and cooler than I could ever emulate. Matty K had a little too much fun mocking me in his role as me, including emails to hubba! And then he, namely I, turned out to be the killer! Which I shockingly discovered when he killed me! Rather, when I killed me. Rather, when I killed Josh. Confusing things like this happened all night due to brilliant scripting.

In horrible news, there's an early gig tomorrow! But actually I won't get that little sleep, now that I look at it, because I don't have to leave the house until 11.

And I can come back and sleep. And write things that need to be written elsewhere.

MBTA: blow me. Not a nice day to stand outside waiting for a late bus.

But the gig was short and sweet and had food. I talked to Schneider for a long while afterwards about various things.

AWGRHGWRHAAGH!!! That's what a crush feels like. It's good, though, I can be old and have crushes and when they end up unrequited (as I'm certain this is and will be), I can say, silly little boy, you don't know what you're missing! Or something. And until then, I can pine. Pine pine.

When will non-sports fans learn that "It's just a game" is NOT HELPFUL.

Heartbreak.

So what's happening in the NFL these days? I'm back to football now. College hoops is also starting soon.

Okay, tonight. Laundry. Seriously. It's starting to take over my room. However, it looks like it's going to rain, which sucks for trying to keep laundry dry. maybe it will just sprinkle.

At any rate, people should come over to my house and entertain me while I fold and clean. It'll rawk. I'm going to get either wine or beer.

Or maybe some mudslide mix and RUMPLE MINZE! The latter is mostly for tomorrow (none or limited quantities for certain boys), but it can be added to mudslide yummy, oh yes it can.

1) It sucks the Red Sox lost.

2) It really fuckin sucks I got to karaoke extra early this week, turned in a form WHILE STILL SOBER, and I still didn't get to sing. I'm seriously never going back, because if that place isn't good for singing, it's not good for a lot but bad memories.

3) I like having my buttons pushed, oh yes.

4) I think things are back to great, and I am tickled by amusing things.

Ha, 12 hours later, and I'm already pondering next week's karaoke, when Danny and I will sing "Up Where We Belong," come hell or high water.

I'm not even going to try to leave work early today. I'll leave whenever, and get to the BR whenever, and whatever, the Sox can't win in NY with Burkett, so fuck them.

It's funny, the way people interact, and how crazy things can clear up awkwardness like magic.

SOX WIN!!!!

But Cubbies lose. Unbeevable. Who gives a crap about the Marlins? I guess I could a little since the 'Topes are the Marlins' AAA farm team, but still. If the Evil Ones win tomorrow, I definitely won't be watching any World Series, that's for sure, whereas if the Cubs were there, I'd watch no matter what. But the Sox just better fuggin win.

Considering I had to get up ass early and this one normally-nice nurse was grouchy at the clinic, I'm in a really chipper mood.

I don't know if I can make it through karaoke tonight, though. I gotta sleep sometime.

What a lovely Sunday. Even though it poured a ton and I walked through it. Nonetheless, a delightful excursion, then dinner at Fire and Ice where Jamie and JTodd failed to amaze me with their eating prowess (though mine is lamest, so I should be nice), ice cream, and then drill meeting. The game got rained out, so none of that.

Ah, good times.

An honest man is difficult to find; when you do, do your damnedest to keep him as your friend.

You know, everyone harps on the need for communication in everything, but it's amazing how communication can make the nearly impossible work out just fine.

I've read two different articles in two different places with the error of mixing up mean and median. Both errors made by Harvardiana! Come on people, that's what the QRR is for!

I have a new hero!!!

Friday night I fell asleep ridiculously early. Then yesterday I was up fairly early, putzed around, and then walked down to Fenway. It only took about an hour; Boston is so tiny, when the weather is nice and I have energy, at least. Otherwise it feels huge and unnavigable. But yesterday was gorgeous (unlike today), so it was a great walk.

So I got to Fenway, and immediately discerned that at two hours before gametime, there were enormous lines outside all the bars. I also discerned that unlike normal, there were no people offering to sell tickets, but a jillion people looking for them. I wandered around collecting free shit from various companies, called the kids to tell them of the madness, and hung out til they showed. By that time, about an hour before gametime, the lines had barely moved and it seemed like all those people were planning to watch the game in the bars. So we wandered and ended up at the Dugout, this tiny little bar near BU (by the U Grille! where I procured the world's best cheese fries), which was loads of fun. The beer was cheap, and the game was crazy. Sox lost, but it was still an amazing game.

Which is good, because apparently I was missing the rawkinest raunch bus of all time. It apparently involved a lot of underwear-only time (which I'm not so much into participating in myself, but it's always amusing to watch) and drinking all of the raunch soda, which is just amazing. These kids are just crazy.

After the game, we headed to Allston for some Sunset action. I was sad to hear they did not have Shiner Bock currently, but with hundreds of other beers to choose from, I could hardly cry too much. K-brew tried this new Sam Adams Utopias, which is like port beer. Crazy stuff. Then it was off to the Cube, where I promptly fell asleep on the floor.

First bus here this morning, and I'm up and catching up on the crazy trip and scandalous happenings. Muahaha.

Whoa, I really was brain dead yesterday, posting in Weds's space.

But I was also incredibly productive at work, so there!

Does anyone want to go to the circus on Monday afternoon or next Friday or Saturday night? I was thinking the really cheap seats in the upper balcony, and flasks of Rumple. I get a $5 discount through work.

I am so sleepy today. It's cloudy out, and when I tried to wake up at 7, it was dark, so I reset my alarm for 7:30, and then again for 8. But I still managed to eat breakfast, so the moral of the story is not to leave myself a lot of time before I have to go to work.

I made it through the drill meeting, which was insanely productive. I must say, I've been really impressed by attendance at Wednesday drill meetings, as I remember them being very sparsely attended back in my day, compared to Sundays. I'm also impressed by how much can get accomplished while still having fun. The Lafayette show is fully sketched out, and it's a week and a half away. But that means new music can be ready early, any props can be at least thought about, etc. Stellar. These kids are so much better than we were.

After that, the wonderful Sox game. And another wonderful one tonight.

Oh man, so tired. Three hours of sleep, not enough. So after marathon meetings last night, I headed off to the Square for some karaoke. I need to make someone else sign me up, because I won't do it when I'm sober, and by the time I'm drunk, it's too late. Me, Dave, and Courtney hung around, Dave sang. My dad has a joke that he's never had three beers ever... because once you hit three, you just keep going. When the last pitcher was drained, I ordered a rusty nail, like a fool, which I didn't finish by last-bus-leaving time, so I stuck around, and then because I went to go hang out with Sean, Jen served us up some crazy shot of red death that looked like a whole lot of grenadine but tasted like a whole lot of whisky. Woo party. Bar closed, I stumbled off to the radio station to hassle Jerry. The station is a pretty cool place, even if I did get really confused and lost trying to get back to the studio from the bathroom. It's kind of a crazy maze. It was cool to see all the equipment and the process of making radio happen.

But damn, I am so tired. I'm not going to accomplish anything today, and then I'm going to go home early since I was here last night for so long. And I will nap and then watch the Sox.

So, I think we're off for Cornell this weekend. Pedro is pitching game three Saturday afternoon, and I think we've decided a voyage to Landsdowne St will be a better adventure for the crusty crew.

Aw fuck, I promised to go to the drill meeting. No nap for me!

Yesterday was a great Sunday: watched the Red Sox win in the afternoon, went to Harvard and had another covert dining hall dinner, and then the drill meeting. I laughed at all the poor hung-over kids, and laughed especially at those who didn't really remember so much of the previous evening. :-) And then the Somerville taxi home... it's so nice now that Dr. has a car, so I don't have to worry as often about transportation.

Today we start with the exercise!

Okay, maybe not. They haven't moved to the new building yet.

So it's been a few days off hubba, and I'm actually not finding it at all difficult not to post. Maybe because it's been boring as hell, but so it goes.

I'm such a bad friend! And such a guy, as I ditch people for important sporting events.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh man, what a game!

What a crazy Saturday! Went out to the field, and it promptly started raining much more than the "light rain" promised for the day. But it quit by game time, and it was a rockin game that we won, and halftime was fun. Dave and I ran up to Shay's to get a beer and watch the parade go by. In the BR, Jer killed me in foosball, for I am the worst, and then we co-opted the Cube for our nefarious baseball-watching purposes. The Sox won! Off to the party, where folks had decided this was the week to be completely insane. It basically ruled. Except for when kids got sick, but with craziness comes a bit of illness usually.

I remember this teacher at old AA who had actually been a student there once upon a time, if I recall correctly. All the boys had this huge crush on her, and I think it baffled her because she had never really been popular at all when she was in school, and certainly she hadn't been the type of girl boys had had major hots for. But there was something she gained in their eyes by being older. But in some ways, it's objectifying, to have people adore you for reasons that don't necessarily have to do with who you are as a person.

Then again, maybe the people who haven't known you for a really long time are one step ahead of you (and your old friends) as far as knowing who you really are right now. It's easy to dismiss new friends as not knowing about x, y and z, "and therefore they don't really know me." But is x, y and z who you really are anymore? Sure maybe it was formative, but if you've grown up at all, you've grown past the person you were when shit like that went down. So, perhaps it's worth paying attention to the opinions of folks who haven't been through the wringer with you.

Awesome: going to bed early. Sucky: waking up having to pee at 3:30, and not being able to fall back asleep until 5:30, thereby destroying the plan to get up at a reasonable hour.

Also wack: the heat came on last night, which makes sense since it was 40 out. But then I remembered the last time I recalled heat being on: Memorial Day Weekend. Yes, that makes four whole months when it was warm enough not to need heat. That's not even four months of warmth, just not-cold. Lame.

And tomorrow it's supposed to rain, which may suckify the game a bit.

Oh man, garden tomatoes = so good. B's parents have a garden full of them, so I had the best turkey, tomato and sharp cheddar on pumpernickel for dinner. Washed down with pear cider.

I need a wingman. Well, a wingwoman actually. How am I supposed to go to the bar with a bunch of guys and expect it to be useful?

What to do tonight? I could go down to the BR and watch Harry Potter with the kids, but that might expose me to certain folks who are annoying me. I could see what old people are up to, if anything. I'd kinda like to hang out with the middle kids, but I feel awkward approaching that crew because it seems random or weird.

I'm having such an interesting life in everyone's dream world. Not just my own!

So, I've declared my hubba hiatus, depriving everyone of my unique perspective on euthanasia. My unique and actually thought-about perspective. God forbid quality matter any more.

Already noon! This week has blazed by.

It's supposed to get down to *thirty-eight* degrees F tonight. What the fuck?

So, it looks like I'll start to take the train/bus home again. I wondered all late spring and summer why I was so lazy all winter taking the train, but then as it started getting dark a lot earlier, I realized that's because the shortest route from the bottom of the hill goes through the marginally sketchy park, and I don't want to do that in the dark nor do I want to go all the way over to my street and walk up that, which takes forever. And I'm lazy. But when FitCorp moves closer to work next week, I may end up missing the last bus anyway if I work out a lot after work, so yay train.

On the way home today I saw this great billboard of these three young adults with shocked looks on their faces, each wearing a piece of safety gear like hard hat, goggles, or ear protection. It said, "Be Careful." It was an ad for Goldschlager! Awesome!

So, Withers and Susan are superstars because they were on the TV during the Red Sox game in Oakland last night. Several Bandies were extremely entertained.

RSI flareup in both arms today! First the left before I came home, and now the right as soon as I get home. This is from folding programs, I think, oddly enough.

This adorable exerpt from an article on Raider Nation: "Lord Mordrid (from Interstate 40 or Interstate 5, and there are still some places he can't go back to) introduced me to his 7-year-old daughter, PunkinStuff, who will turn 8 on Dec. 24. "Twenty-four -- just like Charles Woodson," she instructed me. When I asked her what the best part of sitting in The Black Hole is, PunkinStuff quickly corrected me. "You don't sit in The Black Hole; you stand," she said with the kind of withering look that only a 7-going-on-8-year-old can give you. "And the grown-ups use bad words. A lot of bad words. But I'm not allowed." Daddy (Lord) Mordrid offered, "Luckily, she is too bossy to marry a quarterback."

Though I lamented with the boys the start of the new city ordinance banning smoking in bars, this morning as nasty smoke smell seemed to emanate from everything in my room, I secretly felt really happy about it. Bleh, you know I think I can learn to enjoy the bar environment without the cloud of haze.

I like to toy with ideas. This one is interesting.

I can't wait for this week to end. I've been so distracted, I completely forgot about the info session for HSPH I was supposed to attend yesterday afternoon. Just spaced it, thinking too much about going home and eating dinner. I'm so annoyed. Then this morning I come in to discover that I'm probably going to have to totally rearrange AGAIN this stupid program for Saturday's service. Which I had been thinking I should suck it up and go to, but which I currently again feel hostile about. You know, living people turn remembrance into something tedious and aggravating. Maybe it's easier, to worry about stupid details like a memorial service program and exactly how it looks, than to really face the basics of remembrance and mourning. Or to overcome twinges of guilt that life goes on... if you can muddle over these kinds of things, you aren't forgetting and everyone can see it.

Seriously, kids, when it comes time to do the funeral thing for old A, the planning should be fun. It should be about creating the best party ever, bringing as many people together as possible (by webcam, if necessary, for those who want in on the party but can't be wherever the party shall be), consuming more alcohol and perhaps pizza than can possibly be fathomed. There should be no podium, no rows of people listening, no speeches. There should be people talking to each other, engaging in conversation, egging on a good story. People should meet for the first time and remain friends from then on. Folks should learn something they never knew before about me (I hope not too scandalous). Dancing: crucial. Singing loudly and out of tune: yes. Fair Harvard: essential, and people can cry then if they have to.

I think even when I'm old, this vision should be preserved, because I think the funeral you wanted to have when you were young should be the one you actually have when you die of old age. Because then all your ancient friends can get together and remember what it was like back in the day. Or if the end strikes tragically soon, you can preserve the promise of youth and keep the party going for another day.

Sorry for the morbid theme lately, but that's just how it goes.

I'm glad I work with the group I do, as the old folks definitely give me much more respect than other investigators and project managers gives their RAs. Well, I'm mostly just thinking of one other group, but still. I have a lot of freedom and flexibility.

I am exhausted! I was going to go to Dean meetup tonight, but I feel dreadful. I might go to the drill meeting just to play some foosball, but I kinda doubt it given how I feel. I think it's naptime.

My quad was really feeling twerky, so after eating an orange and feeling more alert, I decided to stretch out by walking to Harvard. That was good. The drill meeting was okay. Except Bitch-at-Everyone was giving me shit about my posting to hubba, so you know what, fuck it, I'm tired of it. I'm through posting to it. Actually, I'm through posting to all the lists, because why should I bother? Other people don't try at all to really be very interesting and have good conversation on the list, and yet they feel the need to take potshots at me. Fuck them. Fuck all of them.

And I didn't even get my foosball game in before sectionals started. Though the walk was nice -- especially with opportunities to walk waning as it gets colder -- maybe I shoulda just come home and gone to bed right away.