Waaa! February is almost over! Time, why do you escape me?
I cleaned up the one-cup coffee maker and broke open the vat of coffee tonight. (The vat is so large because they only make tiny little cans or huge cans, except in decaf, which has very moderate size cans. Matthew explained that this was because it was actually the same amount of coffee as the big vats of caffeinated, but taking the caffeine out reduced the volume. :p) I forgot how much better coffee in my room is than dining hall crap! I'm never drinking it again! Except when I'm too lazy to make my own. :-)
Damn you, Matthew, for reminding me about my birthday! I am trying to forget that it has been the shortest year ever since the last one... birthdays have ceased to be a source of wonder since the 21st one passed. Now I just don't care. And Jenn's hasn't officially past yet since she's been sick, so I have been ignoring it blissfully until poohead brought it up. Bleh!
He also seems to like to start email conversations with me late at night and then GO TO BED WITHOUT WARNING. Okay, he doesn't really do that often. But poo on you, Matthew! Poo on your head!
Just a minute of Annie Hall makes me sad... that movie has just built up so many associations over time.
Bah, worry.
I am finding it very difficult to get work done at the moment. It's tempting just to give up and go watch movies in the common room, but I know that I have a lot of things to do, and I need to start now. But uncertainty unfocuses me...
Sucktastic.
I misconstrued my premise. Rather, I never got to the heart of the matter in the first place. It's not about the world; it's about personal meaningful action. Behaving with a purpose. People don't behave purposefully in all aspects of life, and that indicates something about the importance (or lack thereof) we place on those aspects, on the meaning those behaviors have in our expression. Let's say I tell lots of people all the time that they are really important to me, and that they are my best friend. And then let's say I tell you, fair reader, the same thing; does it mean anything to you? Maybe I really do mean it; maybe I don't. It's hard to say that the value of my words has not been degraded by my pervasive and consistent injudicious use of them. I have drained them of their meaning. I say them without clear purpose, without a force of will behind them; they just seem to pop out of me as if I have no control over my emotions. There are several sad conclusions to be drawn in this situation: 1) I have exhibited no control in an area of my life in which I should have a vested interest, which is sort of pathetic of me; 2) I have lost the ability to express meaningfully in that domain, as I have already reached ceiling levels of communication when they were not warranted, thereby rendering myself powerless to express a genuinely powerful love; 3) the flip side is that no one can trust these expressions, even if they happen to have value, based on my practice of draining these expressions of meaning. And this latter point is most very sad for those who actually deserve the words, who have to muddle through my expression unsure of whether I mean anything with respect to them in particular, or whether they are another victim of my insincerity.
It's sort of an extreme example, and I don't know if anyone understands it. But I think it's applicable in a variety of situations. The overarching message is the importance of thoughtfulness in actions that express; channeling the will into meaningful, intentional communication. It's not a moral argument, particularly; perhaps it's just rough semantics. But I think for me it's more; it's a philosophy for me. I try to be nuanced in my communications; I try to express just the right emotions in every action. Words are more sloppy, surely, but the goal is the same. But the more important the arena, the more important is this maintenance of meaningfulness.
I just realized this sounds like the argument for curbing grade inflation... but that would assume grades communicated anything important to begin with.
The above can also be framed in terms of respect. Let's go with the innocuous subject of grades for the moment. If I'm a professor of 500 students, and at the midterm I give everyone in the class an A, regardless of performance (and without any sort of general philosophical reason for doing do, I'm just a dolt), three things happen: 1) I have displayed my utter disrespect for the academic standard which grades represent (or whatever it is they do represent...). 2) I have displayed disrespect for all the students, the ones who deserved the As, the ones who deserved Cs, all of them. I have not bothered with these students' efforts in order to evaluate them properly. 3) I have destroyed my own respectability as a professor. The first situation has its own problems, but my disrespect for the academic standard isn't necessarily harmful, per se. The third situation harms me mostly (although that line is blurry... students hardly benefit from professors they do not respect). The second situation clearly harms the students, in a variety of ways depending on where they should have fallen on the scale. I have betrayed all of them in a certain way, but especially the most deserving of them.
I consider going through this exercise with my initial example, but I'll leave it. The final answer may be this: no man is an island. Unfortunately, our bubbles all intersect with the real world at some point, and the real world, unfortunately, includes other people. By letting ourselves lose focus, by foregoing a certain rigor in our communicating behavior, we can harm a variety of those with whom we interact, in ways sometimes too subtle to quite capture.
Go insomnia go! No really, go.
Not to be a snob, but some people are really just the opposite of deep. Yo, middle school is *that* way.
Storey, I've changed over the years! I'm no longer such a staunch independent-ist. Er, maybe individualist is the better word, although it means something a little different. Even you've changed, Pro-zers!
Happy Birthday, Jenn!
I'm supposed to be writing my one-page response paper here between clases... but I don't wanna! Nyah.
Jenn is still sick today, so birthday fun is postponed until tomorrow. That and I have a thousand hours of class on Tuesday. How'd it get to be Tuesday again? It's damn near March already! Yee!
College health survey, I hate you! Uh, let's stick to the good points. I always wear a seatbelt. I eat a decent amount of fruits and vegetables each day (good thing they didn't ask how many servings of CRAP I eat every day), I have gotten plenty of sleep in the last 7 days! I have actually gotten a decent amount of exercise in the last 7 days! I don't use cocaine, amphetamines, or ecstasy. I pay my credit card bill in full every month. And I don't have a slew of diseases/conditions. Go me! Other than that... bleh!
Jenn and I were also discussing that under relationship status, there should be a bubble marked, "Ugh."
There should also be questions about how much time you spend completely wasting time at the computer... I can't even fathom the answer.
The act of honesty is very painful.
"Point, how I've missed you!"
Key #1: no overlap.
Be clear in your writing! Use precise terms like 'slut' and 'easy like squeeze cheese.'
Ugh, classic pattern of communication. Of course it is *my* problem. Because I'm so delusional, along with the entire rest of humanity! The martyr complex is not attractive... and irresponsible. But how do you keep your arrogance in shape if you don't distribute the blame for your issues to everyone else?
I won't revisit that sad and sobering conclusion from yesterday, because I might see too much more truth in it, and there can be a little more happiness extracted from ignorance.
What game are you watching?!?
"Really, have you two ever been in the same library? That would probably assume you're speaking the same language..." -Lisa
There's a newly-discovered way to hold off the wrath of A: incredible absurdity. Use it, and she won't know which kind of madness to embrace.
Storey mentions his temptation to put his fist through a plate of glass. I have to say I'm much more attracted to throwing glass. Throwing anything, really, but glass is destroyed upon impact with the wall. I'm sometimes tempted to buy a bunch of really cheap glasses just to keep around and chuck when I'm pissed.
Two tests, one internal, one external:
Internal: passed. Overcame nervousness, did not flee when circumstances were not exactly as expected, had a good time. General overcoming of social anxiety.
External: called it, called it, called it. Exactly. I know a pig when I see a pig. Ain't nothing converting that hog yard.
I keep trying to cry... and then something tells me it's not worth it at all.
Then again... I told myself before, it's been months since I've been confronted with such a social situation. I've allowed myself to believe the best when I have no real evidence to support such a belief. Now I have evidence refuting this oh-so-naive belief.
And yet... and yet...
I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonnit, people like me.
And I'm already over what was irking me an hour ago.
4:30... and I am so done... ever so broken. How will it all be fixed?
Surveying the damage... email: none, good; posts: one, cancelled, although it wasn't really at all bad; this page: erg. If only it weren't all true.
Whatever. I had been seeing what I'd been wanting to see. Fairly respectable, pursuing wholesome, if even boring, pursuits. Maturing, grown-up. My expectations always become disappointment. Disappointment is why I'm hurt. Everything else... I've gotten over the insecurity of personal things, I'm not concerned about that. But the disappointment breaks me. I should have known better; I should have stayed away.
Ugh, this page is bleh... and unrepresentative of the weekend, I'm afraid. Let's recap. Friday I hung out with Amber and James and Pablo. We went to a puppet store at Quincy Market, which was jam packed! Pablo bought a giraffe puppet. Then we went to Back Bay to this hole in the wall Pablo knew about... best bar ever! The burgers there were amazing, and cheap, and the beer was wicked cheap too. Hoo-ray. After that was Newbury Comics, where I spent way too much money, but I haven't really bought CDs in a long time and they had some used that I'd been looking for, and a few on sale that had nostalgic value. I was lame and went home and did some reading.
Yesterday, Nate and I went to the North End. There were lines outside of damn near every restaurant, but we walked up the street a bit and found a restaurant that wasn't too pricey and that had no line! It turned out to be really good too. That's where I had the Chianti that did not wreck my head, which was a party. We had a very pleasant time, after which I sat around here and watched the Olympics and majorly dented the Labatt's supply. Then I went to Chuckie's to meet some people I mostly didn't know, which was overall pretty fun and I managed to calm the nerves of social anxiety long enough to actually talk to some of them. I wish I had been able to stay longer.
The women's basketball team won again last night, meaning that they have at least clinched a tie in the Ivy Title. They'll clinch the whole thing if they win of their last three games, which they should be able to do easily. This means travel! I hope I get to go... I'll be so sad if I don't. Unless they send us to UConn... that would be really lame.
I'm not trying to rain on your parade. I'm trying to tell you that your parade sucks and is empty and hollow and meaningless, and it upsets me to watch it.
My personal journal entry today ended with a sad and sobering conclusion. I hate it that happens.
I've been having strange dreams the past few days. Probably due to sleeping during later hours... the lightness in the room does something to my head. I don't quite know what to make of my thoughts these days.
It leaves me pensive.
Chianti that didn't give me a headache! Yay! It must just be extremely cheap shit red wine that makes me ache!
Ew ew ew! Tell me I'm reading the wrong thing into things!
Shit dawg, speedskating relay is the best ever! Even though US didn't even medal, I'm amazed by the coolness of this event!
Tonight I am going to hang out with my sister and her friends. There will be a bizarre adventure involving puppets. And then dinner. This will cause me to miss the gig... I'm *so* sad. I'm enjoying my well-earned retirement considerably, and with little sentimental desire to do things like attend the last regular-season home hockey game. But damn, if we go to the Women's NCAA Tourney, they better take me. :-)
I think I'm just glad when I feel like I have a life.
Hoo-ray! Matt drove us to the grocery store tonight, and we bought lots of stuff, so now we can snack on decent stuff and Jenn made cornbread. Then I went over to his house and he made me food and we watched O Brother, Where Art Thou, which is just the best movie ever. And then it was raining, so he drove me home. I'm so spoiled.
I have to get up for a 10am meeting, however, which is evil. Tomorrow is way busier than it should be.
The joy of the killfile is a great joy. Or rather, a lack of "Oh God, stop writing!"
JPM, suck my ballz.
Storey's response to my below rant is dead wrong. Being honest is what email is for. Being honest is what phone calls and meetings are for. I don't really feel comfortable reading people bitch about each other in a forum in which they are both participants. It kills the conversation entirely, as no one can really respond without offending one person or the other. And the attacked persons cannot really respond either, unless they have no taste. If someone kills your puppy, then maybe it's okay to trash them on your newsgroups and listservs. But if someone breaks up with you, dude, call your friends and bitch, don't make me have to squirm about it.
I should further distinguish web pages and newsgroups/listserv. Being honest in certain ways is much less bad on web pages than in forums in which conversation is the goal. And I don't think it's just defaming that is ooky; it's any sort of awkward personal thing. If I had a boyfriend on one of these forums, and I kept making cutesy comments about our sex life, that would be gross and uncomfortable too for all the participants! I just think public honesty has been taken too far, and I am skeptical as to whether it has contributed at all to people being honest with themselves. And I fear that in most cases it hasn't. If people can't even determine when they are out-of-line, I can't suspect that they are really that self-reflective. (And Storey, I can't say as I've ever read anything on your page that I thought was out-of-line.)
Oh, and Happy Birthday, Storey!
Ah, Storey and I agree!
Idiocy on the internet continues to be rampant. Today someone on lowell-open expressed their confusion as to why people would be annoyed by email about random student groups recruiting and events, but not by an actual debate about computer software. *boggle* There are people out there who can honestly not distinguish between these forms of email? HAS THE WORLD GONE FUCKING INSANE???
I took the New Year's Resolution quiz linked off Storey's page, and it said my NYR should be to break stuff. Hee!
They're multiplying like rabbits: people who think it's okay to talk about their bad personal relations with other people in forums in which those other people are present. Am I behind the times on this one? I mean, yeah, this page has sometimes gotten personal, but always willfully and intentionally and with reason. And I've even occasionally done the passive-aggressive .plan thing, which is regretful, but dood, there are lines. LINES. You don't see me going around saying, "My roommate smells like poo," because she *reads* this thing, and I know she reads it, and everyone who reads this knows she reads it. But that wouldn't be completely awful even, because she can always write on her web page that I am a fucking bitch, even though she's too nice for that (which is relevant to this discussion). And likewise, I do not email or post information in various forums saying, "I wish I could sleep at night... but oh the smell coming from the next room!" because it's just not cool. Then what is Jenn supposed to say... she is stuck unable to defend herself and I've stripped her of a forum that is both rightfully ours to share. (Thanks to Jenn for being a good sport in being my example... she doesn't really smell.) PEOPLE, we all have to share certain parts of the internet, and as such, we have to have taste. Plain and simple. Have some fucking good sense for the love of god!
And potential future psychodrama on another front (and more parallels!)... kids, kids, kids... well, I guess they all have to do what they have to do.
I'd just like to point out that the weather guys were again incredibly wrong about the weather... their original estimates for snow were waaaay larger than they are now, and despite their guarantee of snow, I'd like to note that looking outside right now (1:30am), I see not only Jack, but also Shit, as far as snow. I just had a feeling this storm wasn't going to be anything but cold wind.
Irony everywhere!
Grooviness on the job front... got an email today from the Head of School at Lexington Montessori about an Assistant Teacher position, and she said I had an interesting background and should call for a visit and meeting. Sweet.
After thinking I had found my resume on my desktop computer, I noted that I needed to do a crapload of work on it. Then I pull out this file today that had a different version of the resume, one that failed to suck, and just needs some minor updating. It turns out I have a copy of this on my laptop, which means I could have worked on it over break. But yay for less editing!
And after telling someone yesterday that I am 100% for sure staying in Boston next year, I had a revelation in the shower today that if I really want to experience the discipline of solitude, I must join Teach for America and head for Gallup, where I will have ample time to myself. This madness may pass, but at least it is getting me to work on my resume, as the deadline is Thursday.
Resume updated, and fired off with abandon to a bunch of places from jobtrak. I don't have a lot of hope for any of these places, but at least it gets me started doing something. I figure the more places my resume goes, the more material I give fate to work with.
Fiz-zel. Urgh, I so hate.
I was trying to think of something else to write, but hate clouds my mind!
When am I going to learn that straight up whisky is the way and the light, and that punch will only leave me feeling like death.
If you were to take all my laundry and stretch it end to end, it would reach to the moon and back seven times. There's stuff in there I last wore in November. And yet I will probably not do laundry today. For I hate it.
After a pre-lunch at the dining hall to calm my body, and then fun at Charlie's, I feel much better, if not a bit sleepy. I am amused at Matt and his date tonight. And I am having a war with myself as to whether I should go to the gig or not. I *should* do homework.
Wah. I should have gone to the game. I suppose I still could... but if no one called, they probably don't need me, and they probably have cymbals covered. And I should do homework. But wah.
In retrospect, I'm not that sad about not going to the game, even if it was a good one. Sounds like there were some pissy people around today.
So far tonight is booooring. What is it with spring Saturdays so far. Fridays are mad party fun, but Saturdays are suckage.
Damn, men's short track speed skating finals were wack! With 4 out of 5 wiping out just short of the finish line, and Apollo Ono possibly being so injured as to not be able to compete further! Yikes! The real question now is how I have come to be so interested in these Winter Games... but they are actually pretty interesting.
Speaking of compelling entertainment... damn near every freshman girl I've met gets it into her head to date some guy who is not only wrong for her, but who is completely useless and gross in an absolute sense. It happened to me (ugh, the Lowell House waltz was tonight, and they were decorating the dining hall with paper hearts... reminded me of my own special doofus), happened to Jenn (need I get into the parallels here?), and it's happened to many others. Something about that first year, that vulnerability and loneliness which makes anything possible, especially bad, gross relationships. So, my warning to all of my first-year friends: DON'T DO IT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL OF US WHO MIGHT HAVE TO WITNESS.
I just don't want to see As The World Turns become Jerry Springer. A soap opera is one thing, but it's another thing entirely to watch someone live in an incomprehensibly bizarre fashion.
Quiz: It is 1am on Valentine's night. You call a fellow student. Do you expect this person to be: 1) asleep; 2) drainking; or 3) able to answer your computer questions? Smart people will answer 1 or 2. Dumb people (ie, people who live in Lowell House) will answer 3. And yes, I was supremely unhelpful.
I am uselessly awake. But Tanq10 is my friend.
Thanatos. It drives me, though I lack despair. I fight its hand in these moments, lonley but not terribly aching. If this is how I feel now, what about the hard times? How can I expect to win? Impulses I battle...
Second wind! Yeah thanks, I need that at 4am.
Awwww... (ITYS, ITYS!)
I gotta get all my computer lovin' in now before the outage tonight... they are totally shutting everything down from 5 to midnight (I bet it takes longer than that even).
Based on a cursory search, Datamatch was some serious useless. Not that I expected anything different, really.
The Pudding show was fun, and Scott looked silly. I want an outfit like the ones they wore at the end, shiny and silver! Afterwards there was Kong with the kids, which was quite pleasant.
Ah, but I see it is that most cursed of days. I'll try not to let my recent disappointment fester overly much.
Aw, I got a carnation from the passive voice that said, "You are loved." It seems these are prevalent in the entryway. It's a nice reminder.
And my mom sent me loads of salsa and other green chile madness, as well as candy. Yay!
Well, the apocalypse has finally come. Davie's engaged.
Dragging my grumpy, windblown ass across Mass Ave earlier today, I ran into someone who mocked my surly countenance and made me smile.
In discussion this evening, more evidence that someone has been a bit snippy these days... makes me very sad! I hope it goes away.
How am I going to survive my Freud/Lewis seminar if everytime I read Freud I want to burn the world with the hate he incites in me?
Nate said this page has gotten boring. I long for the days of angst and psychodrama! Oh wait, no I don't.
Oh, I love my Monday seminar. There are only four people in the class, which seems like it should be very intimidating, but it really just means that we have to do the reading. The other three people are very nice and have smart things to say, and the professor is just so funny! He's also a fabulous moderator. I think I actually like this size for a seminar, because even with 8 people I sometimes feel like the conversation is moving too fast for me to think and keep up, but for some reason, with 4, I don't mind saying stuff mid-thought, because, well, people gotta keep talking. This class rawks.
I am so restless and unproductive tonight!
Went to bed real early last night out of boredom. Promised myself to get up at 9:30. Before 9:30, I was awake and figured I could stay awake enough to get up then, so turned my alarm off. Kept sleeping... then I figured it was a lost cause to try to get up until I wanted to. Now it's almost 11:30! How can I be so lazy? I have no excuse.
That notorious holiday is coming up this week, but as much as I always trash it, Valentine's Days at Harvard have always been eventful. My freshman year I dumped someone on V-day, which was mean, but oh so necessary. Sophomore year there were crazy antics in Tom's office the night before that leaked into V-day. And last year was the extremely amusing Pudding show (on-stage, and off) followed by Nate's birthday at midnight. On the whole they've been highly offbeat and entertaining, if not the stereotypical dozen roses and romantic dinner that many seem to covet.
It's amazing how many minutes I can squander at my computer, hoping for new things to pop up and excite me.
Hee, dinner was amusing. We were there for nearly two hours... what do we think this is, reading period?
I always forget to mentally allot time for the weekly home phone call. I'm so silly!
Perhaps it's a problem of recontructing our narrative, of altering our artifacts so they represent the memories we want to have. I want to remember the moments when the team was winning, when we were working together and liking each other; not when we were hitting our low points, bickering, criticizing, cutting down, feeling tense, avoiding issues. On the whole, the experience was positive, and the negatives aren't what the story was all about. And, to the same effect, I want to focus on individuals in the present tense, as the present is so much better than the past. I don't want to remember that person in those days. I don't want that image to cloud my feeling of that person now. I want to put the bad old days behind me, behind us all.
Didn't I tell myself, get over it already?
This night did not begin at all like it ended.
Ha. Yeah, so last started out with me doing reading for class. Yes, homework. But it ended watching The State in the BR and partaking of the Yubi. It was Danny's 1-year anniversary of Hate, which was appropriate in several ways. At any rate, it was lots of fun, but it's already far too late in the day for my tastes.
Ugh. I've been utterly unproductive today. And moderately melancholy, thanks to the aftereffects of Yubi and my silly decision to review old things. Although, I am amazed at how much has changed in so few months, in extremely positive directions. And I am amazed how well I withstood the difficulty of the worst times, how strong my resolve could be. The changes are all the success I could have hoped for, tranforming that which was profoundly harmful into something that is perfectly positive and beneficial. The pain was certainly worth the gain, at least in my book.
Today is start-the-routine day. I did 2 hours of work on the knowledge base, as I intend to every day for the rest of the semester. I went out for a walk, which dredged up every anxiety I have in that realm, but I'll work on that. And now I am going to clean my room a little while.
Today I'm going to be productive. Really.
Best.
Mmmm... nothing like the smell of Countway LL2... old journals. I had to come over to drop off my books from last semester, and got to ride the shuttle with JPM! What a coinkidink. So that made the otherwise boring shuttle ride much more pleasant.
The other day some of us were talking about stalkability, and how so many of the freshmen are not stalkable because they use Outlook and Eudora and such, and thus do not log into the fas system nearly often enough. I was saying that you're no one if you're not stalkable, and how I log in everywhere almost as a means of making myself *more* trackable. I have found that greater trackability only leads to great things, namely that my friends are more likely to find me and pursue conversation or hanging out. People who don't log in to fas or who don't use IM or some other jenky thing are so frustrating!
Things that would be neat: getting my lottery information for one of the classes before I go to bed (it was supposed to arrive "late" tonight. Well, it's late). The other lottery will not be announced until tomorrow morning. Fuckerz.
Harvard kids: Datamatch is up. Fill it out, and maybe actually get in touch with your matches. Reach out! Also, I want a date for Valentine's Day... hell, it can be the lamest date ever, I just need an adventure.
This reminds me of my thoughts for a social movement. I need to ponder this, but then act quickly. Perhaps I should consult with my guru of social movements.
Aw sweet, I made the Freud/C.S. Lewis seminar! Kick ass! Now I hope I don't make the other class so I don't have to decide between it and the other seminar.
So, the lottery results for the class I hoped I wouldn't get into aren't going to be posted until 1pm, so I bailed from the lottery. Damn, how long does it take to pick 200 people?
I love me sometimes. So, after excluding 2 of 4 classes from consideration yesterday, I go to what I was considering my #2 class today. I decided it was too early, too boring, and I hate it. So there. Rar. I believe there will be at least one class later today that will be good, so I do not worry, but damn I suck.
Competitive nature.
Jenn fought the Law, and Jenn won! Yaaaaay Jenn! Here's to full occupancy at the Lowell Mansion for a full year!
So, today there were two definite winners for courses, but I am in lotteries for them both. Damn.
May I add to Storey's sentiment that the online quiz trned is somewhat dubious and say that I find it very unnerving that they have been combined with online journaling, another growing trend, as a replacement for actual content in these journals. People seem to think taking online quizzes is an actual substitute for personal reflection and expression. Most of these quizzes are developed by utter retards. Some of them are amusing. None of them are a substitute for substance.
Yay Pats! The parade is tomorrow... perhaps I shall go!
Things are looking up... we'll see tomorrow afternoon.
Beanpot... how did I get suckered into Beanpot. I originally planned to have class until 4:30, but the seminar I shopped was so good that I decided to take it and not the later class that overlapped, and since it was the first meeting, it was short. So I was done by 3 and unthinkingly went to the BR. Where I was summarily suckered into Beanpot. We did take a tour trolley there, which rocked, so that was cool. And it was fun hanging in the front with Courtenay and Natalie. But, as I feared, we got our asses kicked. I always will associate the Beanpot with boring games in which we get throttled. It's like hockey hell.
In other news, rar. But I'm supposed to be over that.
And you, you are supposed to be over that.
Oooh, I forgot to mention, I shopped a wonderful seminar today that is currently #1 in the Battle of the Electives. Due to it's #1 position, it eliminated a class from consideration that meets at the same time, and I eliminated another class after realizing that there was a clear #2 and #3. Thus, I currently have 2 classes in the running for 2 spots, with me shopping an additional 3 new classes tomorrow. But the real moral of this story is that I have eliminated all Wednesday classes from consideration, meaning that for sure at this point I will have neither Wednesday nor Friday classes. Yee-ah!
Goddamn, someone just reminded me that it's almost my birthday again. Yech. Last year was the last birthday I forsee myself anticipating with any desire... and it wasn't the most stellar of holidays, so I may as well look forward to them with dread from now on and be wildly surprised by their goodness. I wish February wasn't such a short damn month.
Aw.
Double :-(
:-(
I think I give up.
But again, lots of fun tonight. Cool kids came over. TV was good. No class today so I can sleep in.
Not that it's so late that I need to sleep in. Rar.
I totally slept in anyway. Damn. And now I'm alternating between feeling like I want to be productive, and feeling like I want to be extremely lazy and sit here in my bathrobe. Rar.