this, of course, is brutally bad. the thing about being in new york is that every day has a huge downside (for me): the apartment, the pollution, the cigarette smoke, the madding crowd, the sleep deprivation, the not eating right (it's essentially impossible for me to do so.) so if nothing notably good happens on a given day, nothing that's part of new york's upside, it's a near-catastrophe. it's like the snail which climbs the well by going up 3 inches every day, and then sliding down 2 inches every night. i slide down 2 inches every day, and so i need to climb 3 (which is a lot for a snail!) to compensate.
but i still persevere somehow. still sane and alive. day six.