i had the weirdest heartbreaking moment yesterday. i was in line at smart alec's for lunch, and there was this girl who like me was waiting around for food. she was unsure of herself; i could immediately tell that she was a freshman, who had just gotten here. she opened her wallet for some reason, and i saw an illinois driver's license.

so here is this girl, fresh out of high school, thousands of miles from home. very pretty, but not confident enough to instantly be one of the cool kids. a good girl, really; i'm sure she didn't drink or run with the wrong crowd or anything in high school. and i saw this girl as she entered college, excited and scared and beautiful, and it was like seeing my own child enter college. and i knew that she would change a lot in the next four years, that she would grow into some sort of personality. that she would gain confidence and gain friends, probably; or maybe she would never find her crowd, or maybe she would become a sorority girl, or maybe she would take up smoking.

and i was nervously excited for her, and it broke my heart on some level, or maybe levels. i was sad that i wasn't at that point in my life. i remember what it was like to get to college, very vividly; i remember being that nervously excited and unsure of myself and looking forward to the next four years. and i really miss that feeling of embarking on a wonderful journey. at the same time, i saw the nervous sadness of not having any friends yet, and i wanted to introduce myself and say, i know exactly how you feel. i guess that's what made the whole moment so poignant -- i knew from looking at her 100% exactly how she felt.

but i didn't, of course. it would have been really weird, and it probably would have contributed to her general feeling of bewilderment at being in a foreign land. i knew that. but i really felt like i was sharing a moment with this girl, one of those empathy things where for a split second i knew her as well as i've ever known anyone. it sounds crazy, but it's true. i don't know if i'm describing the experience well, but it was artistic and poignant and heartbreaking all in one, to see all of these possibilities for her, and to just capture the moment in my mind.

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