people who i don't think really deserve to be happy are happy. they are making each other happy. in groups. i always didn't mind this in the past because i could disdain the type of happiness -- not real happiness, and i wouldn't be happy in their situation, so there's no reason to be jealous.
people who seem remarkably similar to the me of four years ago or so are happy. it reminds me very much of me in that time period, perhaps painfully so. i am jealous, because this seems like a plausible alternate reality in which i am happy.
everyone else also seems pretty happy. people who are in similar situations to me are happy.
am i the only person who isn't happy? it's starting to be rather alarming.