and so it begins. in about nine hours, i will leave home for my first day of actual work, the first time i've had anything remotely resembling a 9-to-5 job (although this one i hope to turn into 11-to-7 on a regular basis, which from all indications is very plausible.) i will, in theory, be making lots of money for people and by commission for myself.

it's math. it's mathematical modeling, at least in theory, but i have to admit that i have no idea what it's actually going to be like. they think i can do it because i'm smart, and they're probably right, but i have no grounding. which honestly i find a lot more exciting than scary -- i get the thrill of discovering things and figuring things out from the ground up, from first principles, which i always like to do.

the last two months have been typical mike develin. relationship that didn't work out (i have decided to refrain from my standard use of the word "failure"), not much work, trip to seattle, introspection, bridge, new hobby (which under duress i will admit is world of warcraft), music (stars put on an amazing show; you must see them if you have much of a soul), etc.. i continue to be pretty emotionally stable through it all, now going on fifteen months without anything resembling a breakdown. and with the new structure, hopefully this new emotional stability after a few years of diciness will last.

i hope i can go to sleep tonight.

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