one day down, 364 to go. given how badly this day started -- with me waking up shivering and wishing wholeheartedly that i had someone to hug and suffering aftereffects from last night's particularly smashing alcohol and not having eaten anything in 24 hours -- it has turned out really, really well. even if somewhere along the line i lost my ability to write sentences shorter than 20 words. but as long as i throw in the paragraph breaks every so often, hopefully this will at least stay semi-readable.

i'm slowly getting the hang of this. it's not so bad. we're not through the looking glass yet, but stick with me and we'll be fine, kiddo.

i need to set abstract goals for myself to further things along. i have chosen: every day i will do one of the following: a) have a real conversation with a person i didn't know nearly as well prior to 2002, b) produce something (b1: a piece of writing, b2: a perl program, b3: a candlestick), or c) a significant amount of mathematics in written or rewritten form. day 1: check, times two. i refuse to let there be any carryover.

the key is to never let up. i noted that this is what s. does. s. never lets up, and it's at the same time intimidating and enriching. the relationship i had with adrienne never let up, ever. it was difficult but oh so rewarding. but in this year, 2002, i will break out of the mold of dependence. i will demand that of myself and not shirk it.

i understand how contrived it is to use the new year to do this. it's something i should have resolved at any given time in the past two years of my life. i apologize for the hackneyed nature of this.

ugh. bear with me. i will get better at this weblog thing. right now i'm going to wake up tomorrow morning back in perfect shape after the alcohol of 12/31 and recovery of 1/1. and who knows what i will do. but it will not be wasted.

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