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THREE--

0251: In intro and cog psych classes, they talk about how by paying attention and showing enthusiam when the professor is on the left side of the room, and showing disinterest and dismay when the professor is on the right of the room, students in a lecture class can bit by bit get that professor to teach from the left corner of the room without even realizing what he's doing. It's something we can all do to shape behavior. Move to the left, and keep moving.
        It's a very real problem when you discover that you don't have use for someone who's not going away anytime soon but of whom you can't dispose for a variety of reasons, some having to do with your lack of authority to regulate the matter, and others having to do with keeping your surroundings healthy and free of permanent hatred from important people. It's a problem when that someone becomes so irksome you can barely exist in his or her presence, regardless of the presence of so many wonderful others. But what do you do? I suppose you get over your own issues... but maybe there are reasonable, non-petty and non-stupid reasons for your issues. I mean, some people just don't make good friends, so why should they try? Things to ponder...

FOUR--

1830: We got new computers behind the help desk, which means there are also new keyboards, which urges me to type lots. Not that I have much to say. Next semester I really need to pay attention to who will be at the desk at the same time I am here, because right now I am working with someone who has no inhibitions about asking me a billion questions all the time. It was fine the first few weeks, but it's December, and people should know things.
        So there's this Screw Your Roommate thing I found out about on my way to work today, and let me tell you, it amuses me to no end to consider the possible names I could put on this web form. But I don't know if I have the gall.

2112: Things that will lead to me burning the world-- 19-yr-old Harvard students who can't do a simple job; bubbly, vapid, intellectual-poser girls; small bladders; love correlated with blood-alcohol content; early sunset; missing lunch with cool people; glitter; lack of people present during my rare free time; people who are attached; people who could be hooking up but are immature or chicken; people who won't be humbled by their low status and lack of authority; lack of artistry in slacking off; patheticness; brokenness; bandies messing with photos; assholes using my office without asking; bandies making unnecessary mess; computer users who ask stupid questions; User Assistants who ask stupid questions; dirty computer mice; prospect of discomfort where there should be fun. That's all for now.

TEN--

1428: All the important subjects will be avoided until the next time we can't talk about them.

TWENTY-ONE--

0148: So, I'm at home now, using a computer that has been improved since the last time I was here, but is still rather slow as far as typing things and having them appear on the screen right away. But it's much better. Today improved vastly upon coming home, not only for being home and seeing my parents and meeting the new runt dog, but for finding out that things I thought were in really bad shape were just misunderstood, and I did a very good service to myself by just keeping my mouth shut until I found out what was really going on. It's something I should maybe try more often. It's nice to be away. Despite life maybe not being in bad shape, it was certainyl still going through a very weird phase. Vacation can gve weirdness time to be resolved. I hope everything does get resolved. I hope I can get myself resolved. I'm pretty sure I know what I feel and how I think I should act, but there are moments in which that is just too hard. I feel too much. I need to find patience. I need to find control. That latter bit is the hardest, because control is hard to find in love and rage, and those things dominate me and elude my domination. And now I'm just warbling to the breeze. It's time to sleep.

TWENTY-TWO--

2347: I wish I could talk to her. Funny how striking out against her could create a firestorm of empathy. It's probably just guilt. It's probably a reaction to finding myself a backstabber... suddenly I want to be good and friendly. I have to think about what is right and what is my place.

Transience

Permanence

7.5