1347: NEVER LOOK BACK! Okay, I guess I can't claim to believe that entirely.
TWO--
1556: I decided yesterday that I need a vacation, not because I'm
particularly overworked, but because Cambridge is starting to wear on me.
I don't want to get burned out on the whole place before the school year
even begins. I'm having some trouble deciding how to fix this problem.
Going home would be nice, but it's so much of a hassle that it makes me
tired just thinking about it. I love New Mexico, but it's just too damn
far away sometimes. I need a plan. Otherwise there's no end in sight to
life in Cambridge. I need to destress.
THREE--
1321: To the beach I will go! Vacation plans on the horizon.
EIGHT--
1421: Appears my mild interest is taken. Not that my attention
span had carried me to this point anyway. I got my jump start to the
summer, and that's really what was important.
ELEVEN--
1421: So today I have spent so far sleeping, checking my email,
eating Tasty Kakes, listening to Gwen's mp3s and reading the first Harry
Potter book. And soon Gwen will be back from work and we will go to the
shore. This vacation was a wonderful idea.
THIRTEEN--
1510: I went away for a whole day to the shore and none of you
Cambridge fuckers I emailed yesterday emailed me back! I'm never speaking to any of you ho-bags
again!
SIXTEEN--
1427: Life back in Cambridge has been nicer since vacation, albeit
rainy and dreadful weatherwise. Although last night was a lovely evening,
despite another UA appointment from hell. I'm now addicted to Harry
Potter and dreaming of spells and potions... life cycles back through
childhood, I suppose. Construction at 7:30am outside my window sucks.
And so does this terrible woman that came by the help desk today... she
was all annoyed that she couldn't print because she hadn't set up her
account, even though she's had *all* *summer* to do it, and then because
guest login is disabled on the computers, I had to log in so she could set
up the account, and I got distracted and she printed off my account just
like I suspected she would. So I ripped her head off right in the lab and
kicked her out essentially. Fuckin' ho. I didn't really care about the
printing, because it's not like I pay for it. I was actually sort of glad
she provided me someone to rip to shreds. I hate most users, but there
are very few that give me justification for venom. So, I have my coffee
now, and I'm feeling a little rambly... forgot my work I should be doing
in the band room. I have loved working this summer, but truthfully, I
think I'll be glad when school starts. And then I'll get sick of that
after a little while. But maybe that's life. It's mostly monotonous, but
you deal with the monotony so you can have the moments of extreme
awesomeness.
SEVENTEEN--
1450: Due to the imminent closure of my summer self, supplements
have migrated here. Figure it out.
TWENTY--
1419: Only one more left, but perhaps the most crucial.
TWENTY-FIVE--
1813: Wow, where'd all that time go. This week, instead of
peacefully daydreaming while babysitting the phone, the boss has actually
made me do grunt work, which has involved printing a lot of crap for fall
training. Yeehaw. I probably will have fewer hours logged than in any
other week, and yet they were way more productive. So it goes. I also
managed to paint the band's podium, and now it's pretty and crimson and
white instead of ghetto cracked crimson and yellowish. I'm getting really
excited for fall. I was worried for a while that I would be bored of the
whole fall idea by now, but it just seems that as the date approaches, my
anticipation grows.
It's not so much that
Cambridge is the problem. It's actually nicer in the summer than during
any other time of year. I find it extremely lovely. It's the living
situation that is required here. When I lived at home, I had my own room,
the door of which I could close, allowing me to ignore the world if I so
desired. I went to school on a huge open land; if ever I needed escape, I
could take a free period and walk for an hour if I so desired without ever
repeating a path. I had a car available to me, a capsule separating me
from humanity but moving me through the world, in which I could sing as
loudly as I wanted and in which I could go where I wanted. I lack these
elements of solitude and freedom here. I live with other people, I have
more obligations. It can be cramped and lonely. Last night I blew off work and went for a walk instead,
and I felt so much better afterwards. And then I had a lovely evening
with my friends. But I needed to be apart from people for a while so that
I could appreciate time with other people. It's fear of suffocation.
I'm feeling less
suffocated this week. Maybe because there is vacation in sight. Last
weekend was a lot of fun... made it out to the suburbs for a birthday
barbecue and then returned to mad times and crazy fun. But I've sort of
closed myself in... I don't really feel like dealing with anything that
takes much effort. Apologies to those affected. But I need vacation and
that starts in my head.
And, I was hasty the other
night... friends are generally reliable and lovely.