The speaker on the bus goes, "Get the hell outta my
way!"
Part one of the Summer Road Rage Series
I do a lot of driving around town for my job. After seeing Boston
drivers, I must admit that New Mexicans aren't the worst out there, but
idiots there are and all of us are going a lot faster. Generally I
see
that people drive as they live: with total lack of consideration for
others and with utter inattentiveness to their surroundings.
Fortunately, I have a weapon or two against this lack of mindfulness in
driving (I wish I had some for the living). The first that comes to
mind
is the Finger (the middle one, not one of those big fingers you buy at
sporting events, although that might be cool), but I often feel
unempowered
by its lack of effectiveness in causing the source of my wrath much
remorse. Besides that, some kid got shot a few years back for
flipping off some stupid (and gun-happy) kid who cut him off, so it's not
the smartest tactic for dealing with road rage. My favorite weapon
is the Horn of Rage, which from my tank booms with the scalding fury of a
thousand irate drivers. This weapon, while giving me a feeling of
power and dominance over my target, also works effectively in encouraging
the driver to reconsider actions such as pulling out in front of my
two-ton hunk of speed machine and crawling to the next light.
My weapons pale, however, compared to that which I witnessed downtown
today. Finger and horn may express themselves to an extent, but
little can morely clearly and quickly speak to the driver's desires than a
microphone.
The 54 Bridge bus lumbered down 5th today as so many buses do, but right
away I could see that this driver wielded his machine a bit
differently.
As he passed the stop, "54 BUS" boomed from it. Most buses pass
rather
quietly. He went on down the street, and
as a car got in his way while attempting to park illegally, to my utter
delight and shock there bellowed with annoyance from the bus, "NO PARKING
THERE!" As the bus proceeded away, I could hear the fading sounds of
Bus Man pushing bad drivers from his path with words of ill will.
I beamed with pride. The Bus Man is the joy of all road-raged
drivers out there.
You tell 'em where to park, Bus Man.
The days are bright and filled with pain
Home, home again, I like to be there when I
can